Regiment of Women by Thomas Berger Read Free Book Online Page A

theoretical.” He had inspected this picture the last time he visited Charlie, but as with the photograph of the alleged mother, only tonight did he question its authenticity. Wearing female attire had changed him somehow; he had a new skepticism.
    Charlie was exasperated.
    â€œWhat’s got into you, Georgie? Maybe I should make some coffee to sober you up. Now, be serious. I can get a wholesale price, see. We’ll put on a stiff markup. Real raw stuff like this isn’t easily come by. We’ll split the profit, you and I. Who couldn’t use a little extra loot these days?”
    Cornell grimaced. He had never been so insulted in his life.
    â€œIs that your proposition? I should peddle filthy pictures in the toilets? To warped secretaries?”
    Charlie lowered the photograph. He looked at Cornell for a long moment.
    â€œDo you have to be snotty about it, Georgie? Couldn’t you just say yes or no?”
    â€œI didn’t mean you , Charlie.”
    Charlie plodded to the couch and returned his pictures to the envelope. From the back he looked even more shapeless in women’s clothes than in men’s.
    Cornell had not intended to be cruel, but he was the one who had been insulted first. Still, there had been no malice in Charlie’s proposition: the insult arose from his assumption that he and Cornell enjoyed a common taste. And Cornell was not without responsibility for this error: he had on other visits shown interest in the picture of the so-called mother and child. Charlie was quite a sweet old thing; he always complimented Cornell; darn few other men were capable of generosity; Cornell wanted to be fair.
    â€œI shouldn’t have said that, Charlie.”
    Charlie shrugged the bag of his back.
    â€œI hope you won’t stay mad,” Cornell said winningly. “You’re a good friend.”
    â€œForget it.” Charlie turned and made a reluctant gesture towards the beer bottle. “Pour you a nightcap?”
    â€œYou want me to leave?”
    â€œI didn’t say that.” Charlie breathed heavily and poured Cornell’s mug half full.
    â€œYou’re angry, though.”
    â€œGeorgie, how would you react if I called you warped? Do I do any harm with my pictures? Sure, it’s against the law imposed on us by women. But whom does it hurt? No woman will look at me, so what chance do I have to be normal?”
    â€œI can understand that,” said Cornell.
    â€œCan you? I doubt it. First you suspect me of being homosexual. Now this.” Charlie sat down with his own mug.
    â€œI wasn’t attacking you, believe me,” Cornell said. “It’s just this new job. The very thought of it makes me craw! with shame. I don’t see how I can face the other boys tomorrow, mop in hand. Filling the toilet-paper holders. In comes that nasty receptionist, who has always hated my guts. Oh, Charlie!”
    Charlie remained preoccupied with himself.
    â€œGeorgie, I warned you again and again that you were putting your ass in a sling with Ida. If you’re going to goof off, you must do it cleverly. Trouble with you is, you can’t help it. Look, in the long run, I don’t do any more work than you, if as much, but I don’t lose things and I don’t forget things. I haven’t got a raise in years, but I never get reprimanded. You call attention to yourself—probably because of your good looks. But then you don’t use your looks to benefit yourself. For example, if you had any sense now, you would call Ida at home and ask tearfully if you could come to her house and discuss the transfer. Be hysterical—that scares women. Most of them have some guilt about the way they treat men. If you howl and scream enough, she’ll see you. Then when you get there, be all soft and unresisting, weeping sadly. Most of them find that sexy. Basically, they’re sadists.”
    â€œI couldn’t possibly do that,” Cornell