Remembrance and Pantomime by Derek Walcott Read Free Book Online

Avenue all over, the Raincoat Brigade. I been in every cause, I was a permanent extra in all those crowd scenes—free-thinking, free-screwing Anna. Know what I thought? Jesus, I got to clean my mind.
    JORDAN
         Anna, you’re too hard on yourself.
    ANNA
         Not hard enough. That’s who I hate most: me. I waited for that door in there to open. Paid a landlord that way once. That’s the way it’s always been, nothing for nothing. I sound like a whore. I’m not a whore. I’m just down to the only legal tender I can deal in.
    JORDAN
         My dear … my dear …
    ANNA
         I’d like to be able to trust people again. I once laid it all out to a guy, I mean, my self, not my body. Offered it to him on a platter …
    JORDAN
         You bared your soul to him, and he was terrified and walked away. It’s an old story, isn’t it?
    ( Pause )
         Can you do an English accent?
    ANNA
         Me? Nah. No way.
    JORDAN
         Ever tried? Acting one, perhaps?
    ANNA
         Couple times, I guess. In fun. ’Tisn’t very good. Why?
    JORDAN
         Would you say: “I’ve grown to love it here. You mustn’t make fun of that…”
    ANNA
         In an English accent? I’d be awful.
    JORDAN
         Oh, try it. Once. For me?
    ANNA
    ( Giggling )
         I’m a dancer, I’m not an actress.
    JORDAN
         Give it a try. “I’ve grown to love it here. You mustn’t make fun of that … Albert.”
    ANNA
         Okay …
    ( Giggles )
         “Oi’ve grown to luv it ere, you mustn’t …
    ( Cracks up, laughing )
         Too cockney, huh?
    JORDAN
         What’s your religion?
    ANNA
         None. Why?
    JORDAN
         Will you come closer, please?
    ANNA
         What’s all this about? I just danced.
    JORDAN
    ( Crooked arm extended )
         Will you, please?
    ANNA
         This is tougher than paying the rent.
    ( Takes his arm )
         I must be crazier than you are to do this. What do I do next?
    JORDAN
         Face the light. Where there’s Trout, there’s Hope. And be still. Hang your head in blushful shame, my dearest; no, tilt that chin upward in defiant pride.
    ANNA
         Defiant pride.
    JORDAN
         I sorry we get here twenty years late, Reverend Rabbi, but I had a little bladder trouble and a serious attack of cowardice, not to mention colonial inferiority, but we here now, anyway.
    ANNA
         Defiant pride is killing me.
    JORDAN
         So if you could get through your semi-demi as fast as possible, I’d be grateful to you for restoring my honor, for keeping my promise, and you best make one thing of it—like christening the child, pronouncing this business null and void one time—because bigamy is still a serious charge, ask Mabel, and with modest lechery, you may kiss the bride.
    ( Turns to ANNA )
         I have kept my word, haven’t I?
    ANNA
         Someone you loved, huh?
    JORDAN
         During the war.
    ANNA
         Are you in touch with her?
    JORDAN
         I’m talking to her. Oh, that’s nonsense. She died, you see. She died in a swimming pool from a heart attack in Coral Gables, Florida, trying to extricate herself from a rubber tire. Life is ridiculous.
    ANNA
         I’m sorry.
    JORDAN
         Am I forgiven?
    ANNA
         Yes. Will I get to meet Mrs. Jordan?
    JORDAN
         You’ll meet her. Mabel, my monument. And you’ll love my son Frederick, I know that. He has his mother’s heart.
    ANNA
         His paintings, they’re weird.
    JORDAN
         Modern art. It’s him they should have shot for that shit.
    ANNA
         You don’t mean that. I’m going to take the baby for some air. Do you want to come?
    JORDAN
         It would look a little incongruous, don’t you think?
    ANNA
         Why?
    JORDAN
         Don’t you think so?
    ANNA
         Certainly not. I’d love you to. Come on.
    ( FREDERICK enters the veranda with his painter’s