couch to the cushions and watched Bella rubbing her foot.
“Why do you wear those killer heels when they make your feet hurt?”
Bella sighed. “Oh, Ivy. Sometimes I think you’re a lost cause. I wear them because they make me feel sexy and powerful and they make men drool over me. It’s a nice change. Having to be strong all the time isn’t how you win the battle.”
“This is not a battle. I want a man to love me for who I am and not for how I look, and definitely not for my shoes.”
Ivy and Bella had discussed this particular topic so many times, it was getting old. Bella would go out with any guy who asked. Ivy, on the other hand, had a ten-point checklist she used to score a man with.
The only problem with her infamous list was that she’d yet to meet a guy who scored higher than a five. A five was only fifty percent and that meant she was settling. Ivy didn’t settle.
She sat on the couch and wondered if maybe, just maybe, Bella was right. She needed a real man in her life. A man who could pin her with his stare and turn her insides to mush just as quick. A man who’d had her hot and bothered since the first time she laid her eyes on him. A man like Terrence. But a man like him would see through her smoke screen.
Bella interrupted her thoughts. “Earth to Ivy. I can see your smoke signals. You need to give men a chance to like you first.”
“So what’s not to like about me?” she growled at her friend.
“Honey, everything about you is to like. I love you, but that’s because I know the true Ivy, not the tough, ball-busting, successful intellectual property rights lawyer.”
“I need to be that persona, to appear strong, and come across more masculine and in control than my male counterparts. Blend in. Become one of them. I want to be seen as a brilliant lawyer, not a sexualized female.”
Bella took her hand. “Let’s assume for one moment you’re right, which I believe you aren’t. Blend in, beat’em with their own weapons, blah, blah, blah. This might work in your professional life, but to attract the right kind of guy into your private life, you have to show him your true self.”
Ivy scrunched her nose pensively while Bella continued, “What kind of guys have you been attracting? Weaklings and men who want to be dominated by you. Who left all the decisions up to you. Who let you control the relationship.”
“Hmm. Maybe you’re right.”
“I am right.” Bella said with a triumphant grin. “And what happened with those guys?”
“They ended up boring me to death. I soon grew tired and dumped them.”
Bella jumped up and down on the couch. “See. Terrence Paxton wouldn’t bore you to death.”
Ivy had to giggle. Thinking back to her last – and only – three intimate partners, they’d all been weaklings. Their idea of sex had been lackluster at best and she’d decided no sex life was better than one that bored her to tears. Somewhere out there would be a guy who made all ten points of her list and rocked her world.
Now, Bella on the other hand, took sex and guys too lightly. She could date a guy, sleep with him, and then move on without blinking an eye. Maybe it was because she worked in a predominantly female industry. She didn’t have to blend in or compete with a bunch of men. Or maybe it was because her father was a well-known businessman in New York City and Bella had been given lots of leeway since she was his daughter.
Ivy wasn’t sure what it was, but there were times, like today, where she envied Bella’s ability to just be in the moment. Maybe it’s because your parents were nobodies and raised you to live a quiet, non-confrontational lifestyle.
Ivy’s parents had immigrated from Africa. Things had become untenable under a new dictator and they fled the country, seeking refuge in the United States when Ivy was six years old.
In Africa, her father had been a well-respected teacher, but after coming to America, he’d had to start from zero and