crossed her arms over her chest. “Give it to me. I’m not talking to him.”
“But you’re hopeful,” he said, continuing to hold the phone out of her reach. “I can fucking see it in your eyes.”
“Oh fuck it. I don’t even know why you’re still here with me anyway,” she said, eyeing her phone in his hand. “You really need to stop acting like an overbearing gorilla and start talking to me, or this is never going to happen.”
The thunder continued to crash as the storm quickly approached the city. A sneer soured Jesse’s upper lip as Charlie waited for the thunder to subside.
She shook her head. “I don’t know why we thought this would work—you and me. It never has before,” she said solemnly. “And trust? We can obviously throw that the fuck out the window! How am I supposed to get close to you when all you do is shout at me? You really need to get a better grip on your temper; otherwise this is all going to fall apart,” she continued, as though this speech were planned. “And yes, I will go running back to Sam if you don’t start treating me with some respect.”
The name sliced through Jesse’s ears as he pursed his lips together and the tendons in his neck bulged. Wait a minute. Stop. She’s testing you. Calm yourself down. She’s trying to get a rise out of you. Show her you have control over it.
He took a deep breath before he spoke. “You’re going to throw that in my face every time? That you have the perfect little man waiting for you, and all I need to do is screw up once and I lose you?”
Her face flushed in agitation, as though her plan had failed. “What about when I gain the weight back? What are you going to do with me then?” she asked suddenly.
His mouth slung open and his emotions flung forward, leaving him unable to censor himself. “What? Now you’re just looking for reasons to leave!” he said in disbelief. Where did that come from?
“At least I wouldn’t have to worry about Sam leaving me for the next skinny piece of ass that comes along.” Her eyes narrowed, waiting for Jesse’s response.
“What the fuck are you doing, Charlie? Are you trying to piss me off? Mission accomplished. I mean, what are you trying to get me to say?” he yelled.
“Are you still pissed off?”
“Yes!” he bellowed from his chest.
“Wanna hit me?”
“Yes!”
Her eyes widened. “Do it. Hit me.”
With his nostrils flaring and his blood boiling, he attempted to collect himself. He tried to think of anything that would cease the rage.
“You should. Just start beating me, you crazy fuck,” she snapped.
His jaw tensed as his crazed eyes narrowed. “You want me to admit that you’re the only one for me? Because I don’t have the luxury of choice here! You are all that I have!”
Satisfied with his admission, Charlie nodded. She stared through him with a smug grin. “So now that you have me, how are you going to keep me?”
Shaking his head and setting his jaw, he looked at everything in the room except Charlie. “Fuck this,” he said flatly, and dropped her phone on the floor. “I’m going out for a drink. Don’t be here when I get back.” And with that, he slammed the door.
*
Charlie definitely stirred something in Jesse that evening. He felt the adrenaline coursing its way through every nerve ending, every appendage, and every hair follicle. His stomach twisted and his mind emptied. A sensation took over his body, sucking all the thoughts from his mind, causing him to focus only on his desire for sex, anger, drugs, and anything that could require violence—the kind of fight that would leave his victim in agony.
On his drive, phrases would pop into his head and quickly vanish as the erratic high his body was experiencing ripped them into the back of his mind where they couldn’t be retrieved.
I’ll find someone to fuck tonight.
That thought, now gone.
I’m going to fucking kill Sam…
His fists gripped the steering wheel and that thought
Learning to Kill: Stories