Rhapsody on a Theme by Matthew J. Metzger Read Free Book Online Page B

with Jayden?”
    “Yeah.”
    “All right. Now I do have your medical history here, but I prefer to hear it from the patient in most cases. How long do you think you’ve been depressed?” The doctor flipped open a notebook.
    “Since I was ten or twelve. So…ten, twelve years since.”
    The doctor began to scribble. “Were you treated as a teenager?”
    “No.”
    “Are you depressed all the time, or does it come and go?”
    Darren shrugged. “I have bad days. Moods. But it’s always there underneath. Like a shadow. Doesn’t mean it’s necessarily dark , but there’s always a shadow.”
    The doctor nodded, writing furiously. “And what treatment have you received, if any?”
    “M’seeing a counsellor.” Darren hated the counselling, he’d been through three already. He didn’t like the latest one, Elaine, any better, and Jayden kind of knew that it was doomed in the long run. “I don’t like it, though. I don’t think it really helps.”
    “And the last doctor had him on pills, but he got worse,” Jayden interjected. “Citalopram.”
    “Yes,” the doctor turned back to the file, “I did have a quick read-through. Darren, do you know if either of your parents suffered from mental illness?”
    “My grandparents killed themselves.”
    Jayden’s hand clenched, along with his gut. He hadn’t known that, and he stared incredulously at Darren. “They what?”
    “Granddad Peace,” Darren said. “He hanged himself before I was born. And Grandma Akbar took an overdose when I was about thirteen. She was bipolar, though, I know that, I remember Mother talking about it.”
    Jayden squeezed his hand hard.
    “And Father is on antidepressants at the moment, but Mother divorced him a couple of years ago, so I don’t know if that’s a long-term thing.”
    The doctor hummed thoughtfully. “Dr. Johnson kept extensive notes on the patterns and symptoms you reported, Darren, and I have a few suspicions. Do you feel depressed about any particular aspect of your life right now?”
    Darren frowned. “Not really.”
    “And do the moods occur independently of a bad day? That is to say, if your day at work was terrible, do you develop a depressive mood?”
    “No, he gets bitchy,” Jayden blurted out, and Darren smiled faintly.
    “No,” he confirmed.
    “Mm. As I thought. I think you’re suffering from a chemical imbalance rather than an environmental problem, probably inherited from one or both of your parents. The good news for you is that while counselling can teach you some excellent coping techniques, ultimately, talking therapy is quite rarely a full cure when the problem is chemical rather than environmental. Talking therapy tends to work better when there is something in the patient’s environment strongly influencing their symptoms.”
    “So…you’ll medicate him?” Jayden whispered.
    “Unfortunately, I also see here that you have a history of suicidal behaviour,” the doctor continued.
    Darren’s jaw tightened. Jayden bit his lip and squeezed Darren’s hand.
    “Many antidepressants are unsuitable for patients who have already attempted suicide and I am…reluctant to offer most types of antidepressant to you because of it, I will admit,” Dr. Zielinski explained. Jayden shifted a little closer until his shoulder bumped Darren’s. “The problem with antidepressants is that they make things worse before they make them better. If a patient is already suicidal, the risk of inducing further suicidal behaviour is very strong and that is the last thing we want here. I’m hesitant to use medication, especially given the notes about the last attempt.”
    Darren stared at the floor; Jayden let go of his hand to put an arm around his shoulders and kiss his temple.
    “I think we’ll begin treating this at a low level and work our way up until we start making a difference.” Dr. Zielinski decided, sitting back. “Jayden, do you live with Darren?”
    “Yes.”
    “So you know most of what he does