Rhythm of Three (Rule of Three) by Kelly Jamieson Read Free Book Online

discuss.”
    The two guys looked at her.
    “What?” Chris asked.
    “Everything okay, babe?” Dag added.
    “No, it is not. You all are not living in a frat house. If I see one more gob of toothpaste or beard whisker in the sink, I’m gonna lose my shit. Tomorrow, we’re going to do a tutorial on how to properly clean the sink.”
    Dag grinned. “I’ll watch your tutorial,” he said, “if you promise to do it naked.”
    Kassidy giggled, losing her stern attitude. “Sure, I’ll do it naked,” she agreed. “If it’ll help to do it naked, I’ll even show you how to change the toilet paper roll. It’s not difficult.” She patted Dag’s arm. “You can do it.”
     
     
    The next night they had the party. Dag took care of almost everything. Kassidy had to do some cleaning though, because they’d already established that Chris and Dag’s standards when it came to cleanliness in the kitchen and bathrooms weren’t at quite the same level as hers.
    Anyway, Dag had arranged an extremely cool cocktail party with hot and cold finger foods delivered, cases of booze arranged by the bartender, who brought his own portable bar, glasses and garnishes like lemon and lime slices and celery sticks. He was a smiley, charming guy who said he couldn’t make every drink someone might order, but pretty damn close. He was so friendly and everyone loved him so much it felt like he was one of their friends, and his tip bowl was overflowing by the end of the evening, which was as it should be.
    Dag even arranged the music, his iPod hooked up to their speakers, playing some recognizable popular songs, and some less familiar but great indie songs. The only thing he didn’t do was decorate, but, really, who needed a bunch of cheesy BIG 3-0 decorations?
    Their friends provided enough of that with the cards and gifts they brought, like the one that said Chris wasn’t 30 he was XXX . Everyone laughed, but Chris and Dag and Kassidy exchanged insider glances of amusement at that one. Jeff and Sarah gave him some golf balls that said New Balls for an Old Body , and Cole and Tyra had wrapped up a big package of Depends for him. His buddy Matt gave him a bottle of what was supposed to be Viagra, which brought forth another round of hilarity.
    “This drug works by increasing blood flow to the penis,” Chris read, grinning. “Sexual activity may put extra strain on your heart. If you have severe dizziness, fainting, chest, jaw or left arm pain while having sex, stop and get medical help right away.” He looked up. “I do actually get dizzy when I have a hard-on, but that’s just because my dick is so big it drains all the blood from the rest of my body.”
    The others roared with laughter and the guys hooted with derision. Kassidy met Dag’s eyes and they shared a private smile.
    “In your dreams,” Matt called.
    “Hey,” Jeff said. “What do you get when you cross an owl and a rooster?” After a beat of expectant silence, he answered, “A cock that stays up all night long.”
    The laughter this time was accompanied by groans.
    “This stuff comes with a warning,” Chris added. “If you have a painful or prolonged erection lasting four or more hours, stop using this drug and get medical help right away.”
    “Fuck,” Brandon said. “If I had an erection that lasted four hours, I’d call you all and brag about it.”
    “I had one that lasted all through tenth grade,” Jeff said.
    Sarah laughed along with everyone else and gave his shoulder a shove. “If you had an erection that lasted longer than four hours, it would be me who needed medical attention.”
    On top of the joke gifts, though, a bunch of their friends went in together and signed Chris up for a Beer of the Month Club where he’d get different craft beers delivered every month.
    “That is pretty damn cool,” he said, reading the pamphlet they gave him. “Thanks.”
    Kassidy’s friend Danielle was there and meeting Dag for the first time, since she’d been