Rock n Roll Babes from Outer Space by Linda Jaivin Read Free Book Online Page A

repeated. ‘Oi!’
    Revor looked up from his sock with spermy eyes. Did someone call me?
    ‘Mind telling me what’s going down?’ Jake asked in as normal a tone as he could muster.
    Baby shrugged. ‘Sex,’ she replied, gripping his balls in her hand. He was
very
cute, she thought.
    ‘Sex,’ Jake echoed flatly, attempting to pull an ankle free of its Bind-a-Bean. No go. Jake was not into bondage. Sure, he’d tied up a few girls with scarves when they’d asked for it, and had even used handcuffs on one kinky older woman. But he had never let anyone tie him up. Ever. He did not like feeling vulnerable and powerless. Not one bit. And finding yourself utterly starkers, bound hand and foot to an examining table under mysterious circs at the mercy of three very attractive but sexually predatory aliens did tend to inspire feelings of vulnerability and powerlessness. Not to mention intellectual confusion and spiritual crisis. Christ. It was almost as bad as being in a relationship. He tried to jerk a hand free. ‘Ow,’ he miserabled.
    ‘What’s a relationship?’ asked Baby curiously, reading his mind. She wasn’t taking the piss. Relationships were, if you’ll pardon the expression, an alien concept in the outer.Alien civilisations had evolved way,
way
beyond relationships. Earthling society, which in yoonal terms was still dragging its knuckles on the ground, was only just beginning to shed the concept that a moment’s fuckability did not automatically lead to a lifetime’s compatibility. Aliens had long ago figured out that it was usually best just to give the night’s mateling breakfast and a kiss and send it on its way.
    Jake’s jaw dropped. He stared at Baby. He stopped struggling. His eyes widened and his whole body visibly relaxed. A bright white light filled his vision and formed a shining halo around her head. It suddenly occurred to him that here standing before him—looming over him, whatever—was a beautiful, clever, full-on chick who
didn’t know the meaning of the word relationship.
This was the girl of his dreams. Granted, his dreams had never accounted for antennae or green skin, and he’d have to have a serious word to her about this b/d scenario, but…
kyooool.
    ‘Oh, you know,’ he explained, gazing at her with eyes gone soft with longing, ‘relationships are when you hang out a lot, you know, for more time than it takes just to get each other into bed, and pretend to like the same films and music and each other’s friends, and have really dumb arguments over things like, you know’—the pressure of her hand on his balls was starting seriously to distract him—‘you stealing the covers at night and stuff, which really is dumb because, if you’re bigger, you need more covers, right? Or like her getting jealous cuz you once said you thought Kylie Purr was a big spunk?’
    Baby was nodding her head in agreement, but what she was thinking was: why would anyone steal the covers at night? Weren’t they just old songs sung by new people?How did you steal a cover anyway? And who was Kylie Purr? Was she that little blonde thing who sang ‘Locomotion’? She was also studying his long legs with their soft matting, his lean torso with its coat-hanger shoulders, and the geometric manner in which the fur covered his chin. Goatees hadn’t yet caught on in the outer, mainly because, when aliens grew fur, it tended to be in places like behind the knees, or just under the eyes, or in other bodily sectors where it was either too difficult or painful to shave.
    ‘The worst thing about relationships,’ he continued in a voice choked with confusion and lust, ‘is that they inevitably lead to a situation where one person starts talking
love,
when the other person was still just thinking
like,
and that turns the
like
into
fear,
and things start fucking up.’ Jake paused. Jesus. He sounded like a cynical bastard. If the truth be told, Jake had been in one or two relationships where he’d been the