salad. “She’s practically shitting herself to get Big J off the street. So if we can lure him out,” Dan shrugged, “she can nab him with attempted murder, probably round up some of the other people in his org, maybe even catch his stash. Put him away for long enough that it won’t matter when he gets out.”
“It won’t work,” I said, eating one of the chicken tenders in a few fast bites. They were just as good as ever, even at room temperature: faintly spicy, satisfying, crunchy on the outside and juicy on the inside. “Big J isn’t going to do a hit himself; come on.”
“He might show up though,” Mary pointed out.
“You need to shut the fuck up about things that aren’t your business,” I told her sharply.
“You’re planning this shit in my house, and by the way, it’s not like Big J isn’t going to eventually be able to figure out you were here. Even if he takes you out, do you think he’s going to leave me alone at this point?” Everyone in the room went silent and I knew I wasn’t the only one staring at Mary. I honestly hadn’t considered that particular aspect of what was going on; I’d been too busy ruminating on my own doom to even consider the fact that Big J could—probably pretty easily—figure out that Mary had been harboring me after I was kicked out of Recovery Now.
“Speaking of rats,” I said, picking at another chicken tender, “I’ve been thinking; isn’t it more than a little weird that Dr. Farber went all zero fucking tolerance on us for having a little sex? I know for a damned fact that we weren’t the first people to fuck on that couch. Probably not the first counselor and patient, either.” Mary blushed a deep red and I saw a flash of embarrassed anger in her eyes before she regained some form of control over herself.
“No secrets in a well-functioning band,” she muttered to herself.
“Damn straight,” Nick confirmed. “I’d tell you my cock is longer than Alex’s, but he does have the girth to make up for it.” Mary held up a hand as her blush deepened and I laughed.
“Anyway,” she said, and I watched the stretch of her tee shirt as her chest rose and fell in a deep breath. “The point is that I think you’re right. Someone bought Farber off.”
“Big J?” Mark asked doubtfully.
Mary shrugged. “Why not? Maybe he couldn’t find someone willing to go clean for long enough to get to Alex, or maybe he just wanted to avoid sending someone into rehab for whatever reason. Maybe his dealers can’t get in. It doesn’t matter.” Mary shrugged again. “I know Farber told me—after you left, Alex—that us having sex wasn’t going to be the official grounds for my dismissal, which tells me he was just looking for an excuse.”
“So then J might already know where you’re at. I mean, where else would you go?” Nick took a big gulp of lemonade, gesturing to Mary. I saw Mary’s blush leave her face, and the pale, uncertain look came over her again—for just an instant.
“So, yeah,” she said, making her voice chipper and cheerful. “I might as well go into the lion’s den with you. I’m no safer here than anywhere, until Big J is off the streets.”
“Definitely worth getting kicked out of rehab for, man,” Nick said, grinning at me.
“Also Ron said she can stay on as your personal counselor, she’ll be on the payroll. At least, assuming we aren’t all dead in a week,” Jules added.
“Okay,” I said, looking at each of my band mates and then at Mary. “How exactly is this supposed to work?”
****
“You’ve been to Vagabond before, right?” I was pacing the length of Mary’s room, watching her get ready. The guys had left a few hours before, after we’d all decided on a course of action that was—we hoped—least likely to get us all killed. Mary and I would go to the club where a lot of Big J’s dealers hung out. The hope was that our presence would, of course, be noticed and then passed along to the man