Rumble Road by Jon Robinson Read Free Book Online

on the side of the road?”
    I started telling him what happened, how I don’t have a car, and he ends up pulling around, and he’s with his brother Jeff, and they pick me up and bring me to the show. They always tell me they’re my angels now because they picked me up from the side of the road. It was absolutely ridiculous, but yes, this really happened to me.
    The other thing that happens a lot on the road is people mooning each other. Of course, I can’t name names on that one, but we like to entertain ourselves with that.
    And of course, it’s always an adventure driving with Maryse because she doesn’t know where anything is inside the car. I even have to tell her where the blinker is. I remember this one time we were driving through some town and we decided to stop at a Starbucks. We figure there are so many places to stop that we wouldn’t see anyone, so we get our coffee and hop back in the car. But when Maryse goes to pull out, she somehow hops up on a curb, and for like two minutes we’re seriously driving over this big curb in front of Starbucks. We just laugh it off and think it’s no big deal because nobody was around to see what was happening, but then when we get to the show, Fit Finlay was like, “Was that you guys?” He had seen us driving over the curb laughing our butts off and not even caring. We figured that between shows was about three hundred miles, no way anyone saw that. But it’s always that way. We always end up stopping at the same gas stations, the same places to go to the bathroom, the same food places. For some reason, everyone always stops at the same places.
    Tennessee, Part 1
    Shad
    My most messed-up road story is the time Jay and I were driving through Tennessee. We left our hotel and started driving, but when we were on the road, some guy in his minivan, driving his family, he cut us off. And so me, being a New Yorker, I sped up and got ahead of him and cut him off back, then just kept driving. A couple of miles up the road, a cop came flying up on us, got in front of us, and pulled us over. First thing he asked us is if we had drugs in the car. I told him we didn’t have any drugs. Then he wanted to see my license and registration, and I said, “Cool.” I tell him it’s a rental car, then I reach over to grab my license and the cop rips the door open. He pulls out his Taser gun and points it at me, telling me to get out of the car. I didn’t want to get out, but he said he was going to Tase me if I didn’t get out, so I got out. When I stand up, I’m 6'7", this guy is 5'8" and he’s an old, fat, hillbilly cop. Next thing I know I’m in handcuffs and the cops are telling me how they know we’re drug dealers and how they just know we’re transporting drugs over state lines. I’m like, “Really?” Then all of a sudden, there are like six more cop cars pulling up along with a drug dog. The dog goes in and starts sniffing the car, and the only thing they find is some weed residue that must’ve just been left over from the rental car. I’m telling him it’s a rental car, that we don’t have any drugs, and that the residue is not from us . . . it’s a damn rental, but he tells me that he’s taking me to jail.
    To make things worse, we had an autograph signing that we needed to get to and it was two hours away. So I’m sitting in the back of the cop car, and we’re on our way to jail, and I tell the cop, “You know why you’re doing this, right?” And he’s like, “Why?” So I tell him, “It’s because I’m black.” The cop was like, “No, you were breaking the law.” So I asked him, “What law was I breaking?” And he tells me I was speeding. After all that, he was taking me in for speeding. I was going like two miles an hour over the speed limit and they were arresting me! So I kept talking. I told him how he screwed up. How he put me in handcuffs in front of everyone, so he had to arrest me even if I didn’t do anything. This guy argued with me