Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs Read Free Book Online Page A

of Vickie and Natalie’s older sister Anne. His small penis jiggled and his laughing mouth was ringed with purple jam.
    “Hey, Poo,” Vickie cooed at her little nephew.
    “Poo Bear,” Natalie said, sitting up. “What’s a doin’, pooin’?”
    He paused in front of the TV and slapped his arms against his side. “I’m a can opener,” he said.
    I could smell his feet from across the room.
    “You’re a can opener?” Natalie said tenderly. “That is soooooo cute.”
    “What’s that?” he said, pointing to the machine.
    Vickie said,“That’s Dad’s old shock therapy machine. We’re fooling around with it. Wanna play?”
    He smiled shyly and grabbed his little penis with his hand. “I dunno.”
    “C’mon, Poo. You’ll have fun. You won’t get hurt, I promise,” Natalie said.
    “Yeah, you watch us first, then you can play. Okay? Just watch,” Vickie said.
    Natalie lay back on the sofa and closed her eyes. “Ready,” she said.
    Vickie then kneeled in front of the sofa. Gently, she picked up a wire and arranged it around Natalie’s head. She placed the end of the wire against Natalie’s ear. She tucked another wire under Natalie’s neck. Then she pretended to plug the machine in by stuffing the cord under the sofa. Next she placed her hand on the dial. “Nurse,” she called.
    “Okay,” I said.
    “Come here,”
    I kneeled down next to her. “What should I do?”
    “The patient may scream, so you’ll need to place the bite guard in her mouth.”
    “Okay, where’s that?”
    “Just use a pencil,” Natalie said, looking up.
    “Shhhhh,” Vickie scolded. “You can’t talk.”
    Natalie closed her eyes again and opened her mouth.
    I reached over to the table beside the sofa and grabbed a pen. “Will this work?”
    “Yeah,” Vickie said.
    I placed it in Natalie’s mouth and she clamped down on it.
    “Okay, Nurse. Are we ready?”
    “Yes, Doctor,” I said.
    Vickie turned the dial on the machine. “I’m now giving you one million volts.”
    Natalie convulsed, her whole body trembling. She opened her eyes and rolled them back in her head. She screamed over the pen.
    Vickie laughed. “That’s good, that’s good.” The wire under Natalie’s neck slipped out and Vickie tucked it back in. “Nurse, increase the voltage,” she said.
    I reached over and turned the dial. “Okay, it’s all the way up,” I said.
    Natalie shook violently.
    “She’s repressing a memory,” Vickie said. “We need to go deep into her subconscious mind.”
    Natalie screamed louder and the pen flew out. She was shaking with such force that I was worried she’d really hurt herself.
    Poo Bear burst into tears and ran from the room.
    Natalie stopped.
    Vickie laughed.
    Poo Bear disappeared down the hall, his cries of terror growing fainter as he ran deeper into the house.
    “Woops,” Natalie said. She was sweating and red-faced.
    “We better get him,” Vickie said.
    They ran out of the room, chasing after Poo.
    I glanced at the TV, a commercial for Herbal Essence. And then I ran after them.
    Poo Bear was squatting beneath the grand piano in the living room. His eyes were squeezed closed. He was shitting.
    I froze.
    Vickie and Natalie sat on the sofa across from the piano. They sat side by side, hands in their laps, like they were watching him do scales.
    “Oh,” I said. “Sorry.”
    Poo Bear pinched a turd out on the bright blue wall-to-wall carpeting and Vickie and Natalie clapped.
    “Way to go, Poo,” Vickie cheered.
    Natalie giggled. She slapped her knees.
    Poo Bear opened his eyes and looked at me. He grinned with his grape jelly mouth. “Poo can poo,” he said.
    I looked at Vickie and Natalie. “Have you seen my mother?”
    “She’s in the kitchen,” Natalie said. I started to leave, but she added warningly, “ With my dad .”
    “Well, I just have to ask her one thing, really quick.”
    She watched as Poo brought his finger to his nose and sniffed.
    I backed out of the room and walked down