Scared of Beautiful by Jacqueline Abrahams Read Free Book Online

doesn’t know that you’re…” I continue.
    “No!” Jade exclaims cutting me off. “She doesn’t know, and you’re not telling her until I decide to.”
    “Don’t you think it might be relevant, considering that she now thinks that after I dropped her off, I spent the rest of the night fucking you?!” I raise my voice, slightly irritated. “Besides I thought you two were friends?”
    “We are.” Jade answers, looking down at her hands. “But you know how I feel about telling people about me. You remember high school, don’t you?” I do remember high school and walk over to her, immediately sorry for raising my voice, and sit next to her on the bed. “What happened last night?” she asks again.
    “I didn’t sleep with her, Jade. I just kissed her,” I say, annoyed that Jade still thinks of me in the same way that I was in Atlanta. Jade has this crazy idea that I’m going to spend the rest of my life replacing Shana with empty sex with random chicks who I pick up at clubs. And because that’s what I did for a while, she might have had a point. “Why is it so hard to believe that I may be different since you left home?” I ask her dejectedly.
    She puts a hand on my leg and looks up at me. “I didn’t say I don’t believe you. I’m just saying she’s an all right chick, so don’t screw around with her feelings. I don’t want to have to make the choice between two friends again.”
    She slips her feet into her shoes and walks out the door. And I wonder why it is that no matter how hard I try, I seem to have this uncanny ability to keep fucking things up.
    I text Maia twice over the course of the day, and try calling her once, all with no answer. Since she’s doing a Psychology and English double major, and I study Engineering, our classes never cross over. Hell, I even walk to class on the opposite sides of the campus. Jade texts me to say that Maia hasn’t been back to the dorm room since this morning, and she assumes that she’s either in classes or at the library. I swing by the library; no Maia. Short of stalking the girl, I figure that I’ll go to her dorm room to talk to her later in the evening. When I try that, all I find is Jade sitting on her bed reading a big ass textbook on Music Management. Fuck, this chick really knows how to disappear. In a last ditch effort to find her, I decide to take a drive over to the Clever Bean to see if she’s there. On the way over there, I wonder what the fuck I’m actually doing. I have no idea where her parents live, or who her friends are, and I realize that she could have gone to be with any of those people. All of a sudden I feel foolish, but the foolishness is nowhere near equivalent to the need I have to see her today.
    Keys in hand, I stand at the doorway of the Bean and look for Maia’s familiar long brown hair. My heart sinks when I discover that she isn’t not anywhere on the lower level. I jog up the stairs to the galley level, and almost jump for joy when I see her curled up on one of the sofas, reading. Now that I’m here, what the fuck do I say? Suddenly I’m nervous as shit, and this all seems like a bad idea. But I spent the day looking for her, and the last thing I’m about to do is turn around and walk away like a punk. I approach her and stand next to the sofa.
    “This seat taken?” I ask casually. She barely glances up at me before shrugging her shoulders. I sit next to her on the couch, but she doesn’t bother to look up from her book. Fair call, I did ask her if I could sit, not whether I could actually talk to her. Note to self: next time, be specific.
    I open my mouth to say, something , although I have no idea what. Before I have the chance, she shuts her book and looks up at me. I scan her face for an idea as to what she’s feeling, whether she’s pissed or hurt, and come up with nothing. She doesn’t let a hint of what she’s feeling slip though her robotic façade. Where I’m from, if the girl you were seeing