Scars of the Past by Kay Gordon Read Free Book Online Page B

back? Treating me like I’m fragile?”
    I’d shocked her and she just stood there, gaping at me, and I immediately felt guilty, but it just kept flowing from my mouth.
    “I don’t want to be treated like I’m a china doll who might break if you hug her too hard. I was raped,” I choked on the last word, and hot, angry tears filled my eyes. “But I’m not dead. I can’t get back to life if everyone else walks on eggshells.”
    Amanda was still sitting in the same spot, tears running down her cheeks. I wiped my face and pushed off from the counter, moving towards my bedroom. I stopped when I reached the hallway and turned back to look at Amanda.
    “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to be snapped at- I know you guys are worried. But I can’t stop living or he wins.”
    I went into my bedroom, changed my clothes, and buried myself under my comforter. It was barely 8:00 pm but I felt exhausted.
    A while later my bedroom door opened, but I didn’t bother looking up, just assumed it was one of the girls. I felt the bed dip and Amanda’s warm body cuddled behind me. We just sat in silence for a long time and I knew this was Amanda’s way of saying she understood.
    “I love you, Amanda,” I whispered, reaching for her hand behind me.
    She gave mine and squeeze. “I love you, too, Mad.”
    The next morning I woke up feeling like I was sleeping in a boiler room. Amanda was lying on the right side of the bed, cuddled against me and our hands still clasped together. To my left I was cuddled against Sydney, who’d apparently joined us sometime after we’d fallen asleep. My other arm was draped over her, and I’m sure the three of us would have looked strange if anyone had walked in.
    Remorse flooded through me for the way I had been acting. These girls were the best friends anyone could ask for, and I had been throwing myself a pity party when they were just trying to look out for me.
    Somewhere a phone sounded, but I didn’t dare move and disturb my friends. But the third time it rang Sydney whined loudly.
    “Whose phone is that? And why is someone calling at dawn?” She picked up one of my pillows and shoved it over her head.
    Amanda giggled behind me. “Syd, it’s almost nine. Hardly dawn.”
    Sydney fisted the pillow and tried to hit Amanda without turning towards her and ended whacking me in the face instead.
    “Hey! Leave me out of your lovers quarrel!”
    “It’s your phone, stupid,” groaned Sydney, raising the pillow again. I sat up quickly, grabbing the pillow out of her grasp, and hit her back.
    “Pillow fight. Hot,” said a deep voice from the doorway. We all froze and looked up to see a tall, muscled guy propped against the door frame. His dirty blonde hair was buzzed short and his bright blue eyes looked tired, but he was wearing a smile.
    “At least it’d be hot if my little sister wasn’t involved.”
    “Matty!” I squealed, trying to scramble out of the bed. I ended up twisted in the sheet, and almost knocked Amanda out in the process.
    His deep laugh was instantly comforting and he caught me as I jumped into his arms.  I clung to him as if he was a lifeline and inhaled deeply. He smelled like he’d been traveling, hot and stuffy, but he also smelled like my childhood and the aftershave he’d been using since he was fifteen.
    “What are you doing home? I told mom to tell you not to come,” I admonished, giving him a light slap on the chest as I pulled away.
    He seemed taller as I stared up at him, giving him a scrutinizing look. He’d also gotten bigger; the army continued to bulk him up even more than he had been.
    He rolled his eyes in a very Thomas family-like way and tugged on a lock of my crazy bed hair.
    “You’re not the boss of me.” He pulled me into another hug and looked behind me. “Hi Sydney, Amanda.”
    Sydney mumbled something that sounded more like a curse than a greeting, pulling my comforter over her head.
    Amanda stood, and trying to smooth out her wild hair.