Scars of the Past by Kay Gordon Read Free Book Online

with the couch, loveseat, and oversized chair all arranged to accommodate a variety of people. I had hosted many slumber parties in this room, while Matthew had used it to watch sports with all of his friends.  At that moment it looked so empty and so alone that I couldn’t stand to be in there for more than a few minutes.
    I walked up to the second story of my mother’s home and pushed open the door to my childhood bedroom. It was still the same, my mother stating she had no reason to change it. I climbed onto the double bed, and laid my head on one of my pillows. I stared at the different posters I had on the wall across from the bed, and for the first time in a few days I didn’t feel incredibly anxious.
    The room felt familiar, and I allowed myself to doze off, jerking awake when someone’s hand swept gently across my forehead.
    Mom was sitting on the bed next to me, still in her pale purple scrubs with her graying hair pulled up into a ponytail on the back of her head. She smiled at me when she saw I was awake, but I could see the worry behind her eyes.
    “Hey baby girl.” Her voice was gentle and quiet. “How long have you been here?”
    I sat up and rubbed my eyes before leaning my head on her shoulder.
    “I came right after school. I just needed to be alone for a few minutes.”
    She nodded and rubbed a soothing hand down my back. “I figured when I saw your car in the driveway. Come on, I’ll make you some dinner.”
    We went downstairs together, and I helped her make up some meatloaf and mashed potatoes.  We ate at the large dinner table which had held many meals over the years, and my mom kept the conversation light and normal.
    After we were finished eating, she packaged up some of the food for Amanda and Sydney before giving me a tight hug.
    “Thank you, mom.”
    She pulled away and fixed me with a motherly look. “You know that you can always come home, even if it’s just for a nap or a snack. And I hope you know that if you need someone to talk to, I’m always here for you.”
    I did know that, and I told her so before I gave her a kiss on the cheek and headed back to my apartment.

Chapter Five
    The week went on basically in the same pattern. I went to school, I did my homework, and I spent the nights hiding in my room. Although I knew they meant well, my watchful friends started getting on my nerves. Anytime I’d walk into a room, I’d catch the girls in a hushed conversation that would suddenly stop when they noticed me.
    My temper was short with them both, and I started snapping at them for every little thing. After a couple of days they no longer tried to include me in conversation, and their worried looks only increased.
    My own home started to feel like a prison, and so Saturday morning I left the house while Amanda was out running and Sydney was still asleep. I didn’t have a particular destination in mind, but I was just desperate to not be stared at with the pitiful looks I was growing accustomed to.
    I spent four hours at the mall, but instead of shopping I just walked around, thinking and watching people. A couple of times I’d catch sight of a guy who looked similar to my assailant and I’d freeze in terror until my brain clued in that it wasn’t him .
    By the time late afternoon rolled around I had walked every corner of two different malls, sat through a vampire movie, and fed the ducks at a local park. I had been called and text randomly throughout the day, but after my initial reply of ‘I just wanted to run some errands, I’ll be back tonight’, I had stopped responding. 
    I drove around and somehow found myself parked in front of Solid. It was only 5:00 and the club looked so generic in the day light, but it still felt big and intimidating. My feet moved automatically until I was standing in front of the door, and pulling on the handle. Not expecting it to be unlocked, I was surprised when it opened.
    I walked in and it looked like a completely different place with