Seasons of Love by Anna Jacobs Read Free Book Online Page B

than a son and heir. It was not, in his opinion, a good thing for an actor to be seen like this. He enjoyed having a pretty woman hanging on his arm and listening adoringly to everything he said, but he did not enjoy squiring one who cooed at the baby, pointing out the trees and the flowers to a mindless and smelly little creature which couldn’t even focus its eyes correctly, let alone understand what she was saying.
    And so he told her.
    Which made her weep softly into her handkerchief and made him feel like brute.
    But he wasn’t going to change his mind about walking about town with a baby in public view.
    Definitely not!
    So the gloss wore off the marriage and its brief flowering came to an end. Helen found it more and more difficult to manage on the money her husband gave her, if he gave her any, and Robert took to staying out as much as possible, to avoid the caterwauling, as he called it, of his son.
    Some of the proprietors of the rooms they lodged in objected to the noise the baby inevitably made and other tenants objected too, for Harry had a lusty pair of lungs.
    Then there was the amount of washing a baby caused. As if a baby would notice whether its clothes were clean or not! But Helen wouldn’t give way on this point. She had dainty tastes and insisted on keeping herself, her baby and her husband immaculately clean, however many pails of water she had to lug up and down narrow flights of steps to do so.
    And since Robert was providing less and less money, she also had to spend every minute she could sewing to earn more, so that Harry should never, ever lack for anything.
    ‘Oh, Roxanne,’ she sighed one day. ‘Does nothing beautiful ever last?’
    ‘Not in my experience.’
    ‘What does last then?’
    ‘Money.’
    When Roxanne asked her bluntly one day if she intended to have another child, Helen gaped at her.
    ‘Intend? I thought babies just - happened.’ She blushed and stared at the ground.
    ‘They needn’t happen if you don't want them to. How do you think I've managed all these years?’
    ‘But you're not mar- ’ Helen blushed even more hotly.
    Roxanne laughed. ‘Helen, my love, it's time you faced a few facts. The first one is that life with Robert will always be chancy and you’ll have to rely on yourself to look after your son. The things your mother and father taught you, well, morals like those are all very well for people with money and a position in the community, but if you're a woman with your own way to make in the world, you can't afford to behave virtuously all the time. And you certainly can't afford to keep getting pregnant.’
    She put her arm round the younger woman. ‘I don't steal and cheat, but if a gentleman wants to pay me for the use of my body, well, I think it's a fair enough exchange, for I keep myself clean and I give them good value. Does that make you want to stop being friends with me?’ As she waited for an answer, it occurred to her that she would be very upset to lose her companion’s friendship.
    Helen thought for a moment, then shook her head. ‘Of course not! Nothing could! You've been the best of friends to me.’ She gave Roxanne a hug, as if to prove it, and her friend drew her close and gave her a long cuddle, which ended with a smacking kiss on the cheek.
    After which, Roxanne laughed at herself for being so sentimental and wiped away her tears.
    ‘That's good, then. Friends we’ll stay. But I do think you should know how to stop yourself having any more children. He'll leave you if you do. You do realise that don't you?’
    There was a moment's silence, then Helen swallowed hard and whispered, ‘Yes.’
    She fiddled with the edge of her apron as Roxanne spoke, but she listened carefully, for all her embarrassment, and afterwards, the two women went to the apothecary and bought some sponges to use for birth-control.
    And as she told Roxanne later she had Robert's whole-hearted support for this.
    As the first year of young Harry Perriman's life