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know I’ll be watching.
    So much for staying away from Julie.

Watching Like It’s MTV
    On my way to my third-period class, I spotted Julie at her locker. Kenny pushed me to catch up. I smelled the beach again, and it pissed me off. Kenny’s crush on Julie was going to kill me. First, I hated her. Second, she hated me back. Third, I didn’t date. Ever. Two reasons for that: first, I didn’t know how long we’d be staying in a particular town, and secondly, nobody could get to know me, really know me, because I couldn’t share anything about myself. Anything that was true at least.
    You want me quiet? Then fix this. He slammed the door to his room and rattled my teeth. I pressed a hand to my aching jaw.
    â€œHey.”
    Annoyance flashed across her face.
    Say something, man. She’s not happy.
    â€œOkay. Look, I’m sorry.”
    She scoffed and rolled her eyes.
    â€œNo. Really, I am. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
    â€œYeah, you did.” She took a few steps, whirled, and stalked back to me. “You think I’m an idiot, right? An airhead or something? Cheerleader Barbie?” She pushed at her blond hair like it offended her.
    I hid a grin. Airheads had been the sum total of my assessment of the girls in our speech class but not Julie. She caught my grin and misinterpreted it.
    â€œFrom the first second you saw me, I knew you were thinking I was the biggest bitch in the world because I didn’t help.”
    Okay. She was right. I looked at the floor. “Still. It was mean to hit you with that in class.”
    She shook her head, lip curled into a sneer. “You’re unbelievable. You won’t even try to deny it.”
    I lifted my palms. “Why deny something that’s true?” And then I got mad all over again. “Tell me how you could do it. I sat in my car for five damn minutes, waiting for someone—anyone—to stop Jeff so I wouldn’t have to do it myself. You were there the whole time. Just watching.”
    Her eyes turned arctic, and her body tensed. “I may have been there. But if you think I get off on seeing kids bleed, you’re just sick. You were there, you broke up the fight, so what exactly is the big deal here? You break a nail or something?” She did a little dance with her hands waving in the air.
    Grinding my teeth, I ignored the last part of her attack. “You were watching the whole thing like it was MTV.”
    She slapped a hand to my chest, tried to shove me back a step. “Stop it. I was staring, but I wasn’t watching .” Her eyes glared with outrage.
    â€œOh, that clears it all up.”
    â€œYou don’t understand.”
    â€œNo, you’re right about that. I don’t understand at all.” I took a step forward, and she took a step back, pressed against the lockers. “Enlighten me. Tell me what you were staring at but not watching .”
    Knock that crap off, man. She’s not a threat. Stop trying to intimidate her.
    I’m not!
    You are.
    I could see myself reflected in her glasses. She pressed her lips together, swallowing hard, and a new wave of self-disgust washed over me. Kenny was right. I’d scared her. I took a step back, put some space between Julie and me.
    â€œI…I can’t. You’ll think I’m crazy,” she finally said.
    A laugh escaped my lips before I mashed them together. “Crazy’s kind of a relative term for me.”
    She stared blankly, and I didn’t bother to explain it. “I wasn’t seeing Jeff and Brandon. It…it just reminded me of…something else. From when I was in eighth grade.” She shut her eyes, shivered.
    Leave her alone, man. No more. Kenny squeezed my arm in warning. You’re not the only one with scars.
    I ignored him. “So you’re saying you had a flashback? You…froze up?” She’d said the same thing in class, and I hadn’t believed her.
    She