Sex Made Easy by Debby Herbenick Read Free Book Online Page A

31 percent of women in their thirties, 36 percent of women in their forties, and nearly half of women in their fifties. This is striking. It suggests a few things to me. Perhaps many young women and their partners are rushing into sex without adequate foreplay.Or the sex they are often having lasts a long time, or is quite vigorous and rough, thus drying the vagina. Or Mother Nature built the vagina to make enough lubrication to be “sufficient” for sex that is kind of, sort of comfortable, but that “works,” and if we want sex to be wetter, we have to take matters into our own hands through foreplay and store-bought lubricants.
    Insufficient vaginal lubrication is different from vaginal dryness. Not having enough vaginal lubrication can happen to any woman and is more often a result of rushing into sex without much foreplay, having sex after a shower or bath (warm water dries the vagina out), or having a tight genital fit (for example, if your partner or sex toy is very big, or your vagina is quite small).
    Vaginal dryness is a whole different ball game. It’s more chronic and ongoing and is typically caused by low levels of estrogen. Remember: estrogen plays an important role in producing vaginal lubrication. This is why it’s more common among postmenopausal women whose ovaries have stopped producing estrogens.
    So which young women are candidates for ongoing vaginal dryness? Women who are breastfeeding, as their estrogen levels are typically low, may experience uncomfortable vaginal dryness. Also, women who have had their ovaries removed, for example as part of a hysterectomy or as part of surgical treatment for cancer, may experience vaginal dryness (this is sometimes called “surgical menopause,” meaning that by surgically removing the hormone-producing ovaries, the woman has effectively gone into menopause). If your vagina feels uncomfortable, such as feeling dry or sandpaper-ish during sexual activities as well as daily activities, let your health care provider know. She or he may recommend a vaginal moisturizer that you can apply at home, and it can make a world of difference.
7. What to do if . . . sexual penetration is impossible (can’t get it in)
    This is another case for a vulvovaginal expert. It’s also an instance in which you may want to connect with a sex therapist. Often, when women feel that they absolutely cannot go through with vaginal penetration or intercourse, there’s a lot of fear and panic that surrounds the issue—and sometimes a good deal of strain on the relationship. A sex therapist whohas experience treating women with vaginismus (a name for a condition that describes women who feel unable to experience vaginal penetration, often with a great deal of fear or anxiety, even though they want to and have tried to) or vulvodynia (unexplained vaginal pain) may be a helpful guide on your journey to getting better. A medical doctor or nurse is instrumental in checking to make sure that there are no health conditions causing the pain or difficulty with penetration. A therapist can be helpful in terms of coaching you (and your partner if you have one) through attempts you make at home, and in private, to have sex. Your doctor, nurse, or therapist may recommend the use of vaginal dilators (see sidebar on page 35).
8. What to do if . . . you “squirt” (female ejaculation)
    You’re in good company. Many women release significant amounts of fluid during sexual arousal or orgasm. This is sometimes called “female ejaculation,” although not all sexual health professionals like or use this term because women’s sexual fluids are not precisely the same as male ejaculate (semen).
    Scientific research is lagging in this area so the percentage of women who experience female ejaculation is not known. What we do know is that the fluid comes out of the urethra, but if you’re worried that you’re peeing during sex, you can relax.