Shaken by Jerry B. Jenkins Read Free Book Online

in his hand. “She would have wanted you to have this.”
    Judd couldn’t speak.
    Nada’s mother said, “She told me some things about you two. I encouraged her to tell you what was in her heart, but she never had the chance. Some of it is in this letter. Take it.”
    Judd stuffed the package in his pocket and went upstairs. He sat on his bed and thought of all that had happened since the disappearances. Losing his family was tough. It had thrown him together with brothers and sisters of a different kind. Now that family was being torn apart. He closed his eyes and thought of each person, believer and unbeliever, who was no longer alive. The longer he lived, the more people he would lose.
    When will it be my turn? Judd thought.
    He let his mind wander until it finally came to rest on Nada. He had been so excited to free her. She was so close. Judd thought through the series of events. If he had only been quicker and lunged at the jailer before Nada, she might be alive. A wave of guilt swept over him. He hadn’t pulled the trigger, but he felt responsible for Nada’s death. Then came the anger. Maybe the man wouldn’t have fired at all. If Nada had stayed where she was, perhaps no one would have been hurt.
    Judd remembered the first time he had met Nada. He thought of their exercises and discussions on the roof of her father’s building. They loved to talk late into the night. A lump rose in his throat. Gone. Nada is really gone, and she isn’t coming back .
    Judd pulled out the cloth-wrapped package. Inside was a folded piece of paper and Nada’s necklace. On the gold chain was a cross. Judd turned it around and saw Nada’s initials on the back. He held the cross to his lips, then slipped the necklace around his neck. The paper was worn and somewhat faded. Judd looked at the date at the top of the page and realized Nada had written the letter soon after her family’s arrest.
    Dear Judd ,
    My mother suggested I write this down so I won’t forget. Maybe the GC is going to execute us, and if that happens, you can take comfort in the fact that I’m in a better place. Being with Christ is what our lives are all about. If they’ve killed me, I’m there, so don’t be sad for me. I love you very much. From the moment you came to our family, I felt close to you. You were like a brother to me. Then, as my feelings grew deeper, you were more than that .
    But I have to tell you something. I feel it’s only fair that I express this. As close as we became, in our talks and the time we spent together, I always felt there was something missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it until we came back to Israel and you backed away. I feel what I’m about to say is something that God wants me to say. I have prayed many nights about this.…
    Lionel knocked on the door and walked in. “Care for some company?”
    Judd folded the paper and put it in his pocket. “Sure.”
    Lionel sat on the bed. “Sam’s taking it pretty hard about his dad. How about you?”
    â€œI’m not exactly throwing a party.”
    â€œYeah.” Lionel put his hands on his knees. “Well, I’ve got something to say. It might not be the right time, but with the way things are going, we don’t know what’s going to happen next.”
    â€œSay it.”
    â€œI rode you pretty hard about getting back to the States. Said some bad stuff.”
    â€œYou were right.”
    â€œMaybe. But I shouldn’t have questioned your motives about Nada. I can’t tell you how sorry I am about what happened.”
    â€œThanks.”
    â€œHowever long it takes, whatever kind of time you want to spend with her family, even if you decide to stay, I’m with you.”
    Judd’s lip quivered. He and Lionel had been together since the disappearances. Through the tough times with Lionel’s uncle André, to the first printing of the