Silent Scars (Surviving #4) by Ada Frost Read Free Book Online Page B

threw my head back and guffawed when he reached out and snatched the box from my hands. He muttered a curse I’m sure was some insult to my balls.
    “I can’t wait for the roles to be reversed, dickhead. You wait until your time comes,” he joked, but it landed like a lead balloon.
    “Never happen.” I grinned.
    “You say that.”
    “The main rule in a relationship is honesty.” I laughed, but even to my ears it sounded bitter. “Can you really see a woman wanting me? I'm not too bad on the eyes, but in here.” I tapped my temple. “It’s fucking ugly. No one wants that.  When I bleed, I expect my veins to ooze black shit, not red. There is no redemption for people like me.”
    “You talk like you committed the foul, Ry.”
    “I chose the fucked up shit I did. I wasn’t forced. I volunteered.” I lifted my hands to my face and pushed the heels into my eyes, trying to force the images away. I hadn’t admitted that to anyone before. I jerked away when a larger hand tugged on my arm. I glared at Will as he held his hands up in surrender.
    “I ain’t going to hurt you. But what you believe, and what is reality, is seriously warped. You chose nothing. You were a kid.”
    “I can’t do this.” I was bleeding words, exposing my darkness. I glanced around the room, searching for something to help me. “I’m going to pick Izzy up, take her to Jo’s. I’ll give you and Em a couple of hours before I bring her back.”
    “Ry –”
    “I appreciate you trying, Will, I really do. But sometimes a lost cause needs to be acknowledged.”
    “And when I find one, I’ll let it go. But my brother is worth saving, damn it.”
    “What does it tell you when even God rejects me?” I offered him a weak smile and turned to leave.
    “What?”
    I left without answering because it was obvious. I wanted to die, and I wasn’t even granted that peace.
    ***
    I scanned the playground, watching the other parents waiting for their kids to explode out of the doors. The chattering moms and bored looking dads. Izzy recently moved schools. She was now attending a mainstream school, which up until recently she loved because her best friend, Ellie, came here, and Jo’s soon to be wife was a teacher.
    The doors opened, and the ankle biters flooded the playground. I spotted Izzy and waved. Her teacher beckoned me over while she held onto Izzy’s hand. The kid was so excited she was bouncing on her feet.
    “Ryan!” she gasped. I cradled her against my chest as she pulled the edges of my cap down and cupped her little hands on my cheeks. “You surprised me.”
    “Mr...”
    “Dermont.” I frowned at the teacher.
    “Could you tell her mum and dad that we have added Izzy to the school summer festival programme? The choir was formed before Izzy came to this school, but we have discovered she is quite the talented little singer.” She beamed at Izzy, who was smiling so wide my heart squeezed with joy.
    “Will do.”
    “Thank you. See you tomorrow, little miss.”
    Izzy waved at the teacher and turned to me. “I’m in the festival.”
    “I heard.” I widened my eyes in mock surprise.
    “All my friends were in it, but not me. But now I am,” she boasted. It finally dawned on me why she had been so unhappy. Poor kid. I hugged her against my chest.
    “I missed you, kiddo.”
    “Missed you more,” she said, rubbing my nose with hers. “Did you bring me sweets?” The kid was obsessed with candy.
    “I thought maybe we could go for something to eat. Let your mom and Will have some time.”
    “Kissy time.” She giggled. I tickled her sides making her squeal.
    “Yes, kissy time. Where do you want to go? We could grab a salad and go to the park?”
    Her button nose scrunched in distaste like I knew it would. “We could go to the cinema, Frozen is still on for Movies for Juniors.”
    I rolled my eyes and groaned.
    “They have your favourite popcorn,” she argued holding my face to look at her. I hated popcorn, but she always