Simple Gifts by Andrew Grey Read Free Book Online Page B

message.”
    Eli put down his fork, his attention riveted on Len. Eli’s Amish family rarely sent messages to him. His father didn’t approve of him living among the “English.”
    “Your uncle told me that your family hopes you’ll join them for Christmas.” Geoff watched as Eli’s face lit up for second but then faded again. He knew that Eli missed his family, particularly at this time of year. But Eli couldn’t tell his family that he was gay. They wouldn’t accept him, but, more importantly, his family’s place in the Amish community would be threatened. The members would blame and possible shun his family if they found out, so though he visited them occasionally, it was always alone. Geoff knew Eli felt guilty that Geoff couldn’t come with him whenever he left to visit them, and even more guilty when he returned because of the omission he’d made to his family.
    “I’ll see my uncle in the next few days and tell him I’ll visit right after Christmas.” Geoff saw a sadness behind his lover’s eyes, a sadness he hated.
    Geoff felt Eli’s hand slip into his and he knew that his lover had once again chosen him over his family, just like he’d done eighteen months earlier, when he’d left the community to be with Geoff. He held Eli's hand as he ate slowly, watching his lover’s reaction. Gone was the smile and excitement of a few moments earlier, now replaced with conflicted emotions, sadness, and what Geoff knew had to be a touch of the “what-ifs.”
    Geoff breathed a sigh of relief as the conversation around the table shifted to the farm and how the cattle and horses were doing, as well as a discussion of grain stores. Len commented between bites, “If this cold weather keeps up, we may need to buy additional feed.”
    “It won’t. They’re already calling for a thaw early next week.” Len nodded at Geoff’s words, knowing the weather could be fickle. “But I’ll make some calls just in case.” That would ensure they wouldn’t need the additional feed.
    Conversation continued with general farm topics and upcoming work and plans discussed and agreed to. Geoff and Len lingered over coffee while Eli put his dishes in the sink and disappeared into the living room.
    Finishing his coffee, Geoff got up and started loading the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen while Len carried his coffee into to the living room. Geoff heard the leather chair creak and the television switch on.
    Geoff watched from the kitchen as Eli worked, his movements now perfunctory, mechanical, the joy and excitement from an hour before gone. He hated that. One of the things he loved about Eli was his excitement and enthusiasm, whether he was cleaning stalls, teaching his students how to ride, or flying across a field on his horse Misty. He did everything with such joy and energy that when it was wasn’t there, the room seemed dull and the light a little dim.
    Geoff tried to stop himself, but couldn’t, and a huge yawn stretched his face before he could suppress it. “That’ll wait until tomorrow.” Geoff stepped forward, his hands stroking Eli’s shoulders. “Let’s put this away and go upstairs.” Eli’s heart definitely wasn’t in what he was doing any more, because he just nodded his head and wrapped up the pine boughs in the paper before placing them outside on the porch and walking quietly upstairs.
    Geoff went out and made a final tour of the barn before coming back inside and closing the house up for the night. After a quick good-night to Len, he headed upstairs as well.
    Their room was dark, and Geoff cleaned up quietly, climbing beneath the covers in silence. Eli’s warmth immediately extended around him and arms hugged him close.
    “Sometimes I wish I knew how to be in two places at once.” Eli pressed his back to Geoff’s chest, and he used the opportunity to encircle his lover in his arms, stroking the warm skin with his hands.
    “You don’t have to, Tiger. You know I’ll understand.”
    Eli