Slightly Foxed by Jane Lovering Read Free Book Online Page A

rid of
    everything, but Leo asked me what had happened to the
    book. He made such a fuss, I had to get it back."
    55

    Slightly Foxed
    by Jane Lovering
    "Okay." I slowly drained my glass. "So I guess it's
    probably best if I don't mention that I've read it."
    Isabelle's eyes widened. "Hell, I'd never thought of that.
    Look, if he asks, well, not that he's likely to but, you know.
    Can we say you're an old schoolfriend who's popped in on her
    way past?"
    Past? From where to where? On a tour of obscure
    backwaters which haven't featured anywhere since the
    Domesday Book writers rode through and thought, Oh, go on
    then, might as well use up this ink?
    "How are you going to explain the return of the book?"
    She'd got up and was heading back into the kitchen. I
    followed, my Sex God readiness switched up to red alert just
    in case he turned out to be spread-eagled over the table,
    panting with insatiable lust.
    "Oh, I'd already told him I'd got it back, said that I'd
    destroyed it, so—" As she spoke she thrust the book into the
    Aga and slammed the door on it; I shivered as though
    watching my best friend burn. "Leo's not had an easy time."
    The door opposite opened and she smoothly changed tack.
    "But farming in general is having a really bad few years." I
    nodded slowly, trying to keep my eyes from shooting to the
    doorway, but anyway my nose had let me know who the
    incomers were. "Josh, Ivan, this is Alys. She's come by to
    visit me, we were at school together, you know."
    "Oh, aye." The two men nodded in my general direction,
    then leaned their ample bottoms against the Aga rail. "Leo
    having his dinner with us? We could have a word with him
    about those fences."
    56

    Slightly Foxed
    by Jane Lovering
    "Yes, what a good idea," Isabelle said brightly. "Go and
    ask him, Josh. We can introduce him to Alys."
    Oh God. Here I was wearing my least flattering jeans, the
    ones that made my bum jut out sideways. I was caught
    between desperately wanting to meet my idol and not
    wanting to be seen looking like a shelving unit. "Isabelle, is
    there anywhere I could change? Maybe get a wash?" I asked.
    I was directed to an upstairs room, where I waited until
    she'd shown me how to work the shower and gone back
    downstairs, then hoiked the mobile out of my bag.
    "Jace? It's me," I hissed into it.
    "Of course it's you." Jacinta's reply was loud and clear.
    "Who else would be ringing me?"
    "I need help. I've got to have dinner with this gorgeous
    man, and I've only got my jeans and that white T-shirt to
    change into."
    "Hmm. Which jeans? The ones that are making your
    bottom veeeeerrrry wide?"
    "No, those others, the pale blue ones."
    "You have no worry. They is good. Anyways, men are
    never seeing what women is wearing, they are too busy
    thinking what she is looking like not wearing clothes."
    "I don't think this man is quite like that, Jace." I heard her
    snort of disbelief. "But how do I look alluring, sexy and
    available yet classy, in jeans and T-shirt?"
    "You must make shorter the straps on your bra. Is simple.
    Lift up your bosom further and make it look out."
    I peered down my front. "Hair up or down?"
    57

    Slightly Foxed
    by Jane Lovering
    "You have hair on your bosom?" Jacinta sounded confused
    and I could hear Simon's voice asking if there was a problem.
    "On my head! Up or down?"
    "Up. But not too far, you are not wanting to look like a
    dog. I must go now, Simon is fitting with me."
    "Having a fit," I corrected, but she'd already gone.
    I washed and changed, pausing midway to ring Florence.
    "Hello, darling. How did the exam go?"
    Florence grunted. "Okay, I suppose."
    "Was it easy or hard, or what?"
    Another grunt. "Okay. Look, I've got to go. Piers is taking
    me out."
    "Out? You've got Maths tomorrow!" But I was talking to
    myself and I felt the tiny sting of memory, how she'd wanted
    to tell me everything about the SAT exams she'd taken, aged
    ten. Now I was lucky if she'd tell me it was raining.
    I made the necessary