very real ball and chain that I hated and that scared the fucking shit out of me. I wasn’t about to call Martin to let him know that I was struggling because of a woman.
My ball and chain ruined my life and tore my family to pieces so small I hadn’t the slightest idea how to put them back together, and honestly, I wasn’t even sure I was a big enough man for the task.
I may stand six-feet-four-inches tall and two hundred forty-seven pounds, but my ball and chain kept me feeling infinitesimal.
When she’d looked up at me tonight and asked if we would exchange numbers, I couldn’t help the uptake of my pulse.
“Absolutely,” I’d said, withdrawing my cell phone from the breast pocket of my suit jacket.
She held her cell phone out to me, prompting me to hand over mine. The simple act of handing over my cell phone had made me uneasy. I valued my privacy, but the trophy at stake was enough for me to surrender.
I watched her add her own contact information to my phone a lot quicker than I could make my bulky fingers peck out letters and numbers on the screen of hers.
I held her cell out to her and she held mine out to me. I’d wished I could take her back to my place right then and there, but it was obvious to me that this woman was not the type to just jump in bed with a stranger.
I was both pleased and uncomfortable with the fact that I would likely have to put in more work than I normally would. Putting in more work meant spending more time. Spending more time meant getting to know each other a little, and getting to know each other meant that I’d either end up confessing that I was a recovering alcoholic, or I’d hide my ugly truth like a coward. But…spending more time with her also meant spending more time with her , and I wanted that very much.
I could have opted for the company of another woman as a distraction, but I knew—I just knew that chances of finding someone else to mollify the craving I had were slim to none. My craving was one she’d established within me and she’d be the only one capable of remedying me.
Finding a woman to spend a night with was never an issue for me, and I was rarely met with noncompliance once I’d made my intentions clear, but this woman didn’t exactly fall into the same category as my normal hookups.
“We should probably get going.” She seemed reluctant to say it and I winced internally. I didn’t want her to leave just yet. Everything in me wanted to touch her again, to pull her to me and own the territory of her mouth with mine. The only thing rooting me in place was common sense. I could neither indulge myself nor take liberties with her until she gave me a green light. How fast I sped once she chose to give me that green light was another story entirely. One that, I hoped, would play out soon. Despite the tightly coiled need in my gut, I smiled and nodded.
Seemingly of its own free will, my hand rose to her cheek. My fingers drifted over her skin and tucked a wayward lock of brown silk behind her ear. I watched as her breathing became choppy, her cheeks turned a beautiful pink and her long lashes fluttered closed. I hated showing restraint.
My hand fell back to my side and her gray eyes bore into me, her pupils dilated more than they had been before.
Fuck, the things I plan to do to you…
She licked her lips; her stormy-gray eyes took on a carnal look as though she had read my mind. I’d hoped that she could and dreaded what she’d see there if she did.
“Walk us out?”
“Of course,” I nodded, stuffing my hands back in my pockets and fidgeting as I so often did when addiction felt entirely too close to the surface. I kept my hands hidden, knowing that if I didn’t do something else with them I wouldn’t be able to keep them off that flawless skin of hers.
“Matt, we’re leaving,” she called out to her friend who had been wandering around the terrace pretending to be completely engrossed in his cell phone. I appreciated the few
My ball and chain ruined my life and tore my family to pieces so small I hadn’t the slightest idea how to put them back together, and honestly, I wasn’t even sure I was a big enough man for the task.
I may stand six-feet-four-inches tall and two hundred forty-seven pounds, but my ball and chain kept me feeling infinitesimal.
When she’d looked up at me tonight and asked if we would exchange numbers, I couldn’t help the uptake of my pulse.
“Absolutely,” I’d said, withdrawing my cell phone from the breast pocket of my suit jacket.
She held her cell phone out to me, prompting me to hand over mine. The simple act of handing over my cell phone had made me uneasy. I valued my privacy, but the trophy at stake was enough for me to surrender.
I watched her add her own contact information to my phone a lot quicker than I could make my bulky fingers peck out letters and numbers on the screen of hers.
I held her cell out to her and she held mine out to me. I’d wished I could take her back to my place right then and there, but it was obvious to me that this woman was not the type to just jump in bed with a stranger.
I was both pleased and uncomfortable with the fact that I would likely have to put in more work than I normally would. Putting in more work meant spending more time. Spending more time meant getting to know each other a little, and getting to know each other meant that I’d either end up confessing that I was a recovering alcoholic, or I’d hide my ugly truth like a coward. But…spending more time with her also meant spending more time with her , and I wanted that very much.
I could have opted for the company of another woman as a distraction, but I knew—I just knew that chances of finding someone else to mollify the craving I had were slim to none. My craving was one she’d established within me and she’d be the only one capable of remedying me.
Finding a woman to spend a night with was never an issue for me, and I was rarely met with noncompliance once I’d made my intentions clear, but this woman didn’t exactly fall into the same category as my normal hookups.
“We should probably get going.” She seemed reluctant to say it and I winced internally. I didn’t want her to leave just yet. Everything in me wanted to touch her again, to pull her to me and own the territory of her mouth with mine. The only thing rooting me in place was common sense. I could neither indulge myself nor take liberties with her until she gave me a green light. How fast I sped once she chose to give me that green light was another story entirely. One that, I hoped, would play out soon. Despite the tightly coiled need in my gut, I smiled and nodded.
Seemingly of its own free will, my hand rose to her cheek. My fingers drifted over her skin and tucked a wayward lock of brown silk behind her ear. I watched as her breathing became choppy, her cheeks turned a beautiful pink and her long lashes fluttered closed. I hated showing restraint.
My hand fell back to my side and her gray eyes bore into me, her pupils dilated more than they had been before.
Fuck, the things I plan to do to you…
She licked her lips; her stormy-gray eyes took on a carnal look as though she had read my mind. I’d hoped that she could and dreaded what she’d see there if she did.
“Walk us out?”
“Of course,” I nodded, stuffing my hands back in my pockets and fidgeting as I so often did when addiction felt entirely too close to the surface. I kept my hands hidden, knowing that if I didn’t do something else with them I wouldn’t be able to keep them off that flawless skin of hers.
“Matt, we’re leaving,” she called out to her friend who had been wandering around the terrace pretending to be completely engrossed in his cell phone. I appreciated the few
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