bring dinner over to your place tomorrow night?” When he nodded, she grimaced, “I will have work to do this weekend.”
He laughed. “Good. Because that’s exactly what I’ll be doing.”
Justine was still smiling when she got home.
I haven’t seen what I didn’t want in you.
As far as declarations of love went, that was pretty pathetic. But she knew exactly what he meant because she hadn’t seen what she didn’t want in him, either.
Sometimes she thought love was like a flowchart.
Does this man attract you physically? Yes, continue to the next step. No, return to the beginning.
Keep moving and see if you could make it to the end of the maze or if it was back to the beginning with someone else.
And she knew that her sixteen-year-old self would be looking on with horror. Would see that as a business transaction.
She’d wanted that knight on his white horse. She’d wanted a man to swoop in and sweep her off her feet. To make her forget everything and everyone. To have the fairy tale.
But that wasn’t what real life was like. Only sixteen-year-olds could get swept off their feet. The older a woman got the less likely it became because the older you got the more you realized that getting swept off your feet was a little. . .dangerous.
Getting swept off your feet meant you weren’t expecting him to do whatever it was that bowled you over which meant you didn’t really know him.
Romantic love, fairy-tale love, was ignorant.
It was hopeful, and maybe hopeful was romantic, but Justine thought that really it was just stupid.
She went straight to her closet, pulling down her overnight bag and digging through her closet.
When Delia came home, Justine’s entire wardrobe was piled on her bed. Delia stopped in the doorway and raised her eyebrows.
Justine held a sheer robe up, clasping it to her chest and twirling. “His place this weekend.” She stopped twirling. “I was a complete wreck in his office. I cried. I told him I was thirty-six.”
She closed her eyes at the memory and Delia said, “And now his place this weekend so it must not have been too weird for him.”
Justine chuckled weakly and opened her eyes. “Do you think he’s telling his friend right now that it got weird? Don’t answer that.”
Delia just smiled at her.
Justine said, “We’re going to alternate weekends. He’ll be here next Saturday.”
Delia groaned. “I guess I’ll be finding a new apartment this week. I can’t unsee Paul wearing his Ralph Lauren boxers.”
“Boxer briefs,” Justine said and Delia held up a hand, shaking her head.
“Please, stop.” Then Delia sighed. “Boxer briefs. I should have guessed that.”
Justine held up two sweaters, a classy argyle and a tight pink, and Delia pointed to the tight pink one. Justine folded it up and placed it neatly in the bag.
Delia came all the way into the bedroom, digging through the clothes and taking all the classy wool slacks and button-up shirts out.
She said, “Jeans and sweaters. And no lingerie.”
Delia took the sheer robe, hanging it back up in the closet. “This weekend will be comfortable and cozy. Don’t cook for him the whole time, don’t clean up after him. Start as you mean to go on.”
Justine sat on the bed and put her head between her knees. She breathed in and out and mumbled, “I thought moving forward would feel good. But now I’m thinking if it ends after this I’ll have to go through this again. If it ends after this, it will be worse.”
Delia sat next to her, rubbing her back. “Repeat after me: I have been given this life.”
Justine groaned. Not Delia’s the universe will provide, if it happens it happens, isn’t this life just wonderful as it is shtick.
Delia said, “I have been given this life.”
Justine sighed and repeated, “I have been given this life.”
“Whether it is for one year or one hundred years is not for me to say.”
“Whether it is for one year or one hundred years is not for me to
John Feinstein, Rocco Mediate
Tim Lahaye, Jerry B. Jenkins