Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie We're In Trouble! (The Toad Witch Mysteries Book 2) by Christiana Miller Read Free Book Online Page B

daughter of Eve. Forrest will be here any minute.”
    “Who the heck is Forrest?” I asked, confused. “And what happened to depressed Gus? Who let perky Gus out of his cage?”
    Gus waggled his eyebrows at me. “That would be Forrest. He’s the giddy-up in my go-go-go. He’s the sugar in my lemonade. The color red in my crayon box.”
    “The cog in your cliche-machine. Got it. What happened with that Jack guy you hooked up with in Chicago?”
    “You’ve got to keep up, girlfriend. Jack was so three weeks ago. I met Forrest at the gas station before I left for Chicago. I didn’t think about him again, until I met him at the grocery store this week. Who knew your lack of domestic skills would land me a sweet thing like him? Decaf coffee on your cereal? Really?”
    “Hey! It’s a liquid.”
    “It’s disgusting. Anyway, we went on our first date last night,” he said, looking happier than I had seen him in awhile.
    “And you didn’t tell me?”
    “You were asleep. That’s all you do anymore. When you’re not bitchin’, you’re sleepin’. Or eatin’.”
    “Baby on the way, hello.” I said, pointing at my belly. “Cranky, tired and hungry pretty much defines my pregnancy.”
    “ What-evs, baby mama. Besides, I didn’t want to get your hopes up, if it didn’t work out. Not to change the subject, but did you notice the outdoor thermometer? Sixty and climbing.”
    I sighed. “I really hope this weather thing doesn’t bite us all in the ass.”
    There was the sound of a car horn outside.
    “Speaking of ass-hickeys…” Gus ran to the front room to look out of the window. “There’s my guy. Gotta go.”
    “Seriously? Are you providing drive-thru blowjobs now? Is that why he’s not coming in?” I asked, following him. I felt snappish and surprisingly, more than a little jealous that someone new was now going to be taking up all of Gus’s time.
    “Get your mind out of the gutter, you nasty girl.” Gus pulled out his cell phone and texted Forrest. “ Be right out. Oooh, he says he’s got a surprise for me.”
    “I hope it doesn’t involve penicillin.” I handed him back his twenty. “Can I go ahead and make my breakfast now? Since your new boyfriend doesn’t have enough manners to come inside and pick you up?”
    Gus made a face and blew me a kiss. “Try not to set the house on fire while I’m gone, Sybil. Maybe you could let one of your nicer personalities come out to play by the time I get back.”
    I flipped him off as he slammed out the front door.
    *     *     *
    After breakfast, I opened the windows to air out the house, then sat down at Aunt Tillie’s desk. Although, I guess it was my desk now. I was still getting used to that idea, because the furniture still felt so much like Aunt Tillie. Maybe Gus was right about replacing it.
    The puppies settled in by my feet for an after-meal nap and I booted up my laptop to see about getting him his own mini-fridge as a Yule present. I wondered how much it would cost to hire someone to build Gus his own little cottage get-away in the back yard. That way, he could move in there and stop annoying me so much.
    After spending way too much time on shopping sites—mini-fridges weren’t anywhere near as expensive as I thought they’d be, but custom-built sheds that looked like miniature log-cabin houses were way more than I could afford—I checked my bank account. It was dwindling at an alarming rate.
    The online store wasn’t making anywhere near the profit we had thought it would and with a baby on the way, money worries were burning a hole in my psyche. During my long month without Gus, I had gone out and tried to find a part-time job, but no one wanted to hire a pregnant woman. I was starting to feel the familiar cold fingers of fear and desperation wrapping around me, and I didn’t like it one bit.
     

Chapter 13
    A s I searched online job sites, the room grew ice cold. The puppies stirred and looked around. They focused on the