Somebody Tell Aunt Tillie We're In Trouble! (The Toad Witch Mysteries Book 2) by Christiana Miller Read Free Book Online

asked.
    “We’ll have to wait and see. Weather magic isn’t an exact science, you know.”
    “Is any magic ever?” I shivered as the winter wind buffeted our cottage.
    As the gust crested in power and howled, a quiet voice wrapped around me like an icy-cold serpent.
    “ It’s turning out just fine for me,” it hissed, before dissipating into the walls.
     
    “Did you hear that?” I asked Gus, my eyes darting around the room.
    The Dobies sat up, alert and on edge, growling and looking around.
    “The only thing I hear is the chattering of my teeth.” He got up to toss another log onto the fire.
    Soft laughter reverberated through the room.
    “Tell me you heard that ?!” I yelped, gripping my mug.
    The back door slammed open. A blast of freezing cold air whooshed into the cottage, blowing out the flames in the fireplace, and smashing the lamp to the ground.
    The Dobies ran for their hiding spot, under the couch, and wedged themselves in together.
“What the fuck?!” Gus hollered, forcing the words out as a windstorm invaded our cottage. Over the roar of the wind, I could hear the puppies howling and barking from their hideaway under the couch.
    The back door slammed shut, but the wind continued blowing inside the cottage, spiraling faster and faster.
     As the currents grew stronger, it was a struggle to stay upright.
    Bottles, pictures, tchotchkes crashed onto the floor.
    Gus anchored himself to one of the stone columns that buttressed the fireplace.
    I pushed my way through the tempest, trying to get over to him, but I had to fight for every step.
    Before I could reach a stationary object, the whirlwind lifted me off the ground and sent me hurtling through the air.
     
    I screamed, but the sound was ripped out of my throat by the sheer force of the wind. 
    I was an inch away from slamming into the wall, when the wind gently and unexpectedly died down.
    I half-fell, half-slid to the ground, amid a pile of overturned chairs and shattered ceramic.
    Gus was at my side in a matter of seconds. “Are you all right?”
    I gingerly moved one limb at a time.
    Everything was working.
    I turned my focus inward to the baby.
    Move, baby. Show me you’re okay.
    Nothing.
    Honey, please. You’re freaking your momma out here.
    Slowly, I felt a stirring. 
    I breathed a sigh of relief and looked up at Gus. “We’re okay.”
    Gus opened the front door and looked out over the porch and yard. “What the fuck just happened?” He asked, looking around. Everything was calm. None of the snow had shifted, not even an inch.
    “How should I know? You’re the one who caused it. What did you do while you were in the Realm of Faery?” I snapped.
    “It wasn’t me,” he protested.
    “Right. Because indoor tornadoes happen all the time in Wisconsin.”
    “Maybe,” he said.
    “Bull,” I looked around at how badly the wind had trashed the room. It was in total chaos. “We got slammed by a freaking Gus nado.”
    “It wasn’t me—at least, not just me. I thought we agreed, it’s this place. It’s not my fault your cottage takes a simple little magical working and multiplies it tenfold.”
    “Simple working, my ass.” I gingerly stood up. “Simple-minded, maybe.”
    “Don’t jump on my shit, woman. You’re the one letting a golden opportunity go to waste.”
    “What are you talking about?” I asked, still glaring at him.
    “Earth to Mara. Do you know how many witches would pay to do their rituals at a place like this? This cottage is sitting on some wicked powerful leylines. You could make a fortune.”
    I snorted. “Sure. That sounds like a really great idea. That way, I can have every witch and wanna-blessed-be contacting me at all hours, from all over the globe, trying to get in here and cause all sorts of havoc, just like you do. Destroying my house and trying to kill themselves—and possibly us—in the process. I don’t think so. You know what sounds like a better idea?”
    “What?”
    I felt a growl rising