Something Girl by Beth Goobie Read Free Book Online

said my dad. He put out his hand and patted my head. His finger touched a scab from a beer bottle he’d hit me with last week. Quickly he moved his hand to my forehead.
    His hand felt heavier than I can tell you. I kept my eyes closed and shut everything out. “I don’t remember,” I said. “That happens sometimes, y’know. I just don’t remember.”
    I had seen TV shows where people got hurt and then forgot what happened. I figured if it worked on TV, it could work for me too. All of a sudden I wished I was watching this on TV so I could change the channel to another show.
    “Why don’t we give Sophie a break?” said Ms. Lee. For the first time, I liked the lady. Finally she was showing some common sense. “We can discuss this at a later time,” she said. “I’m asking you to leave the room now, Mr. Hawthorne.”
    For a second my dad’s hand tightened across my forehead. I got the message, but I don’t think Ms. Lee noticed. Then my dad bent down and kissed my cheek. I could feel his breath on my face. I kept my eyes closed so I didn’t have to see him.
    “I’ll be waiting in the car, hon,” he said to my mom. Then he walked out of the room.
    I opened my eyes to see Jujube standing next to me. She looked relieved that my dad was gone. “Can I stay?” she asked.
    Ms. Lee was about to answer when my mom spoke up. It sounded as if she was over by the window. “May I talk to my daughter alone?” she asked.
    Ms. Lee looked at me carefully. Then shesaid, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Hawthorne. I’ll have to stay here with you.”
    She sent Jujube out of the room and waited while my mom came over to my bed. At first I couldn’t look at my mom, my heart was pounding too hard. Then all I could do was stare at her. I mean, this was my mom standing beside me. She could get hurt because of what Jujube had said. And it was all my fault. Stupid, no good, nothing girl .
    My mom stood for a long time without saying anything. She just stared at her hands and twisted her purse strap around. Then she started crying.
    “I didn’t know, Froggy,” she whispered. “I didn’t know he would go this far. This is my fault. I should’ve done something. I should’ve gotten you out of there a long time ago.”
    “No, Mom,” I said. “It’s not your fault, it’s mine.”
    My mom stared at me. “But I’m your mother. I’m the one who let this happen to you.”
    I stared back at her. She wasn’t making sense. How could it be her fault? I was the one who got beat up. If I hadn’t gotten beat up, there wouldn’t have been any trouble.
    “Do you really feel this is your fault, Sophie?” Ms. Lee asked softly.
    “It’s got to be,” I said. Suddenly I was crying in big ugly sobs. “My dad only hits me when I do something wrong,” I said. “He only hits me because I’m bad. I’m bad and he’s trying to make me good. Maybe when I’m good, then he can love me. But I don’t know how to be good. How can I be good and make my dad love me? I just want my dad to love me. But he can’t. He can’t because I’m stupid. I’m a stupid, no good, nothing girl.”
    Silence filled the room. But the words weren’t finished coming out of me yet. “If my dad loved me,” I said, still crying, “then I would be something. Then I could be something.”
    “Oh, Sophie,” my mom whispered. “You are something. You’re some one .”
    Then she leaned down and held me for a long time. Around us the room got very quiet. I think the girl across the room turned off her TV. My mom was crying. I was crying. I think even Ms. Lee was crying.
    Finally my mom stood up again. But she took my hand and held it.
    Ms. Lee smiled at me. She took my other hand. “When your father hits you, it’s his fault,” she said. “Not yours. His .”
    For a minute my mind shut down. It just stopped working, as if it had hit a brick wall. No , I thought. It isn’t my dad’s fault. It can’t be. He doesn’t really want to hit me. He’s just doing it to