Something to Hide by Deborah Moggach Read Free Book Online

baby; she said she was thinking about it and Todd respected that. Sometimes she caught him looking at her, his thick eyebrows raised, but he said nothing. Had he noticed anything different in her behaviour? She watched him inspecting the tanks in Gary’s Pet Center, her fit, wiry little husband with his brutal army haircut.
    She was playing for time. In a few months Todd would be returning to the Middle East for a long tour of duty. He had no head for paperwork; though he was the boss he largely left the finances to her – after all, she was the one who kept the household ticking over in his absence. And their savings had been in a separate account. So far he had felt no need to check up on it and each day brought his departure nearer. She would hang on until he was gone and then her head would be clear.
    Clear to do what?
    â€˜This little fella’s called a diamondback.’ The guy lifted up a turtle. ‘Look at his shell and you can see why. He’ll grow to six inches.’
    He placed it in Todd’s palm. Its head re-emerged, warily. She watched Todd’s finger stroking its snout. He was always gentle with those frailer than himself, it was one of the things she loved about him. She remembered how tender he was with their babies, crooning to them as he changed their diapers with his clumsy, unaccustomed hands.
    And yet he could erupt in a rage over something trivial, like a lost remote or Dean using his bath towel. He needed, with a fury, to have his own things safe and sound; he needed order in his life. Home sweet home. After his first tour in Iraq he had bought a gun to blow out the brains of anyone who threatened his family. Recently, in her nightmares, Lorrie had pictured him turning the gun on herself.
    Lorrie stood there in the pitiless strip light. Beside her stood a wall of tanks. In one, a lizard pawed at the glass with his tiny fingers and fell back.
    The guy, maybe Gary himself, was talking about reptiles. ‘Some of these species are, like, a million years old.’ A dreamy look came into his eyes. ‘It’s like, we’re walking with dinosaurs. Crazy or what?’
    As he spoke Lorrie felt weightless, as if her life had disconnected. Dinosaurs came and went and so did they, snuffed out like candles. Six years earlier she had found a lump in her breast. For a while she was facing death and felt this same sensation of spinning away from the rest of the human race, separate and utterly alone. Now she saw herself and Todd as mere specks, adrift in the universe. Just for a moment, nothing really mattered.
    She wished she could tell Todd this but he didn’t like such talk. He liked to talk about things – the game, the kids, plans for their new house. Their new house, which had been snuffed out too.
    Of course he wouldn’t shoot her. He would be devastated and very, very angry.
Why didn’t you go to the police?
What, and look a fool? The website had vanished; there was nothing the cops could do. At night, when Todd was asleep, she went online and read about similar cases – bitter outpourings from people like herself. She had become increasingly addicted to them. Nobody had gotten their money back.
    â€˜Honey, let’s buy a pair,’ she said. ‘He’ll be lonesome on his ownsome.’
    So they bought a pair, and a tank, and a pump and filtration system, and a UVB fluorescent lamp for the basking platform. Todd grumbled at the cost but she was still feeling spaced-out. What the hell. There was an English expression – in for a penny, in for a pound.
    She thought: I just have to find $48,000 before my husband discovers the truth. Easy! I could become a prostitute! Some men like the larger woman. I could deal drugs! Tyler next door could help me with that. I could win the Powerball jackpot!
    â€˜What’s so funny?’ asked Todd.
    â€˜I’m just thinking of Angie’s little face,’ she said.
    The sunshine hit them as