Sorrows of Adoration by Kimberly Chapman Read Free Book Online

time being
pretty and proper, sitting up very straight in their tight
corsets,” he said, standing tall as if to mimic them.
    “Corsets?”
    “Yes. They’ve been the
fashion around the palace since I was a boy. Wretched things,
really. It’s a garment of cloth and wire and rope that the ladies
must have their servants squeeze them into, lacing it up tight in
the back.”
    “Why would they want to
wear such a thing?” I asked, trying not to seem rude again.
    He rolled his eyes and
shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t try to understand women’s
fashions. My father says it’s supposed to make them appear thinner
and more graceful, but I know he hates them as much as I. Most of
those ladies are already willowy—they hardly need to be squeezed
any smaller. Mother says it’s proper—it holds one’s back straight
and prevents proper ladies from exposing their seductive curves to
eager men. I don’t know what that’s supposed to accomplish. Dancing
with ladies in corsets, it’s as if they’re in bandages from some
great wound. So stiff and unable to move. Father told me once that
he remembers in his youth when the fashion was loose dresses, and
when he danced with ladies he could feel their hips moved as they…”
He stopped himself and blushed. “Forgive me. I shouldn’t say such
things in a lady’s presence.”
    I smiled and said, “I
told you. I’m not a lady.”
    “Perhaps not like one
of the tea-sipping, court variety,” he said, mimicking dainty hands
holding cup and saucer, tipping the imaginary cup delicately to his
lips. We both laughed. “But, Aenna, you are a lady. You’re very
brave and noble in your actions. Birthright or not, you’re a lady
in my estimation.” He turned and continued walking, and thankfully
didn’t look back to see how deeply I was blushing at his kind
words. Blushing was becoming so common to me that I wondered if my
face would soon give up and remain red!
    That night as we slept
close together again, I found myself unable to sleep despite the
soothing sound of his breath. I dearly wished to lean my head
forward that it might rest on his shoulder, but I dared not for
sake of propriety and my own sanity. I knew by that time that I
loved him, and the pain of knowing it was a love that could never
be fulfilled sent my emotions on a chaotic ride of alternating
delight in his company and depression at knowing we would soon be
separated. His consideration of me as a lady was sweet, but once we
reached Endren I knew all too well that I would cease to hold such
esteem, perhaps even in his eyes, and he would no longer be simply
Jarik, but instead Lord Jarik, cousin to the Prince, nephew of the
King.
    My heart fluttered when
I recalled how he held me when I fell or his worried face when I
slipped. Then it sank as I imagined him returning to his station
and I to my own. Such madness kept me awake until just before dawn,
when finally I managed to sleep long enough to continue walking the
next day.
    * * *
    The fifth day was windy
but not as cold, yet the blowing snow slowed our progress. Our food
supplies were almost gone, and we had been rationing small meals
since the day before. We decided not to wait for a trap to snare
something else, as we simply wanted to return to civilization as
quickly as possible. Jarik promised me a great feast on our return,
and when I started my now traditional refusal of reward, he cut me
off yet again and said, “You will be a guest and treated as such.
And my family will be happy to see me safe, so they’ll no doubt
have a wonderful meal prepared on our return.”
    “Do your parents live
in the palace as well, then?” I asked.
    He gave me that same
confused look that he did whenever I asked about anything personal,
and then, as always, collected himself and answered. “No, my
parents are deceased. I meant my cousin’s family, who are also my
family, you see.”
    I shuddered to think
that this good man was without a proper family, as myself.