Sorry by Zoran Drvenkar Read Free Book Online

for him. He wasn’t interested in the kids his own age, he listened to different music, spoke a different language. For a while he grew bitter, stole money from his father anddrank the evenings away, started fights and had his heart broken by a girl who looked very much like Frauke. During that time melancholy broke out in Wolf like a creeping infection.
    He passed his leaving exam with difficulty and went traveling. He explored Scandinavia, spent a month in a dilapidated hut high in the north of Norway and didn’t see another human being for six weeks. Then he took a freighter to Canada, where he worked little jobs, felled trees, and cleared snow from driveways. In the summer he slept in the forests and stayed far from civilization. Everything he owned was in his rucksack.
    After six years Wolf came back to Berlin having decided to be a writer. No one collected him from the airport the day he arrived, because no one knew he was back. For six months everything was fine, until one day his brother bumped into him in the street.
    “And there I was wondering why you didn’t answer the phone in Toronto,” Kris said by way of greeting.
    They looked at each other, they didn’t come any closer; something was missing, something had turned the brothers into strangers. Wolf was no longer little Wolf; a strange man was standing in front of Kris. It’s always difficult when your surroundings don’t change at the same pace as you do yourself. Wolf had gotten burlier, his hair reached his shoulders, his attitude was defensive. And Kris was Kris.
    “What are you doing here?”
    “Living.”
    That was all that came out of Wolf. He would have liked to follow it up with another line, he would happily have laughed away the moment, but he had frozen.
    “Well, then, go on living,” Kris said at last, leaving him standing.
    Kris could do that. Kris could draw a line and go on with his life as if nothing had happened. Wolf found that very hard. The brothers remained strangers to one another, and probably nothing would have changed if Erin’s death the same year hadn’t turned Wolf’s world upside down.
    Wolf hugs Frauke. The smell of vetiver rises into his nose. Earthy, crude, warm. He feels her breath on his neck and wonders how he could ever have thought of running away for a second.
    “What are you doing here?”
    “Look to your left,” says Frauke.
    Two aisles over Tamara is rummaging in a pile of socks. Frauke puts her thumb and forefinger in her mouth and whistles once. Tamara looks up, Wolf waves, and Frauke says:
    “Well, if that isn’t a coincidence.”
    Wolf twitches imperceptibly. As far as he’s concerned coincidences are an invention of people who can’t come to grips with life. The minute something goes wrong they go all helpless. If things are going well they try and find a reason why they’re going well. They haven’t the guts to say,
This thing and that thing happen to be because I’m the way I am
. Coincidence is Wolf’s great weak spot. Since Erin’s death he has been trying to find answers to questions that have no answers.
If only I had, I would be
. Nonexistent coincidence caught him off guard and Wolf is hoping for revenge.
    Kris greets Tamara and Frauke with a kiss, he’s clearly glad of their visit. When the women have gone in, the brothers hug.
    “How bad was it?” asks Wolf.
    “So-so. My boss couldn’t give me a straightforward apology. You know how much I hate that. He said I should give
Taz
a call. Can you imagine me doing that?”
    Wolf shakes his head.
    “Thanks,” says Kris, and they walk into the apartment.
    Tamara and Frauke have occupied the kitchen. Frauke is busy washing the vegetables, while Tamara pokes about in the fridge and takes out yogurt, tofu, and sauces.
It’s like family
, Wolf thinks, putting his bag of books down on the floor. Kris puts his arm around his shoulders and says something that makes Frauke laugh. Tamara chucks a baby eggplant at Kris and hits Wolf. They