Space Captain Smith by Toby Frost Read Free Book Online Page A

democracy, Earth, Britain, the Council of Powers, and Britain in particular, his arms waving around like a semaphore machine in a hurricane. The endless ranks of Ghast troopers bellowed back at him on cue. Watching them, Smith felt angry at himself for sitting about, drinking some filthy herbal brew and acting as if the Apocalypse was not about to come. I need a ship with guns, he thought. These aliens need to be taught a lesson, preferably one that they will be unable to learn from on account of being very dead at the end of it.
    ‘All set!’ Rhianna declared, returning.
    Smith stood up. ‘Are you sure?’ She wore a long green shirt and a pair of jeans that were wide and long enough to completely hide her feet. As she shifted position, Smith saw that she was wearing plastic sandals. Her bags were large and brightly-coloured. Surprisingly, the hilt of a wooden sword protruded from one. She was hardly dressed for life on board an industrial space vessel. Well, she’d only be on board a few days. Besides, if any proper work was required she would probably be worse than useless anyway, proper clothes or not. ‘Righto,’ he said. ‘I’ll help you with your bags, shall I?’
    ‘That’s quite a ship,’ Rhianna said. ‘It must be extremely powerful.’
    ‘You’re looking out of the wrong window,’ Smith replied. ‘We’re over there.’
    He was sitting on his purchase from duty free: a large box of beer and two cases of teabags.
    She peered through the glass. ‘Well, that’s pretty nice too. I mean, it’s got all the right stuff on it – engine, doors, that kind of thing… it does have all the right stuff on it, doesn’t it?’
    ‘Oh, absolutely. Possibly in the wrong order – haha, just joking.’ She looked at him uncertainly, and Smith stopped. ‘It does. Honestly. Now, before we go on board, I would say that we do have a slightly unusual crew roster.’
    ‘Really?’
    ‘Yes. One of our crew is a Morlock – he’s pretty much the ship’s emergency mascot, the usual mascot being a hamster – and our pilot is a simulant. She’s very skilful. Ah – and here she is.’
    Carveth appeared at the far side of the hall, an expression of mild confusion on her face. As she walked she reached into a paper bag and took out a biscuit.
    ‘Hey there, everybody,’ Carveth said. ‘Are you Rhianna?’
    ‘Yes. Hello.’
    ‘Just in case anyone’s wondering, I smell of herbal tea,’
    Carveth said. ‘I’ve spent my shore leave in a . . . um . . . a herbal tea shop. Now then, where’s the big frog? I picked up his knives on the way here.’
    ‘Should be here soon,’ said Smith. ‘I’ll wait and put a message out if he doesn’t show.’
    ‘I’ll get the ship ready in a minute. Can we go on yet?’
    ‘I think so.’
    ‘Right. Let me show you to your quarters,’ Carveth said to Rhianna. She took the bags and wandered into the airlock, Rhianna following. At the far end of the hall, Suruk and his two new friends watched the Earthmen doing something unimportant at the airlock. ‘Is it the guy sitting down, with the fur thing above his mouth?’ asked Thadar Lorgan.
    ‘That’s him. He’s Isambard Smith.’
    ‘Whoa. He looks totally stupid.’
    Suruk did his equivalent of shrugging. ‘He’s okay. Loyal and friendly, but he does tend to make a mess. Well, I’d best roll. Got a ship to catch.’
    Thadar nodded. ‘It’s been great meeting you. We’re waxing our blades and heading to the Eastern Rim tomorrow. Seriously man, if you’re ever bored, stick out a signal on standard channel eighty-two and we’ll tell you where to catch some seriously mean prey.’
    ‘Thanks!’ said Suruk. ‘And if I get something good, you know I’ll share.’
    ‘Great. Catch you later, Suruk the Slayer!’
    ‘Catch you later!’
    ‘So,’ said Smith as the alien arrived, ‘were they nice chaps?’
    ‘Their words were honourable. They provided hospitality worthy of a highlord. I give them respect.’
    They