Speak of the Devil by Jenna Black Read Free Book Online

always get on my case for lying to myself? Well, I don’t have to be a demon in control of your body to recognize it when I see it.”
    Lugh actually winced. “I am a king. My feelings are irrelevant.”
    I wasn’t sure I followed his logic, but I didn’t much care. I did the unthinkable and moved a littlecloser to him on the couch, laying a sympathetic hand on his arm. “Your feelings aren’t irrelevant to me.”
    As soon as I said it, I wished I could suck the words back in. What kind of an idiot says something like that to a man she’s trying to hold at arm’s length? Never mind that with him in my body, I couldn’t actually do it.
    I moved away from him with a little groan, and I covered my eyes with my hand as I cursed myself. Maybe I should take lying lessons from Raphael. I was pretty sure that part of being a good liar was knowing when to keep your mouth shut. And, of course, the poker face I didn’t have.
    Lugh chuckled. “Lying to me would do you no good.” He drew my hand away from my eyes. I made the mistake of meeting his gaze and found I couldn’t look away.
    “You can’t hold me at arm’s length, Morgan. And you can’t lead me on. What you choose to say doesn’t matter.” His voice gentled even further. “You can’t choose what to feel, either. Life would be very much easier if we could direct our feelings, but even demons can’t do that.”
    My pulse quickened, and there was a pleasant fluttery feeling in my belly. He hadn’t let go of my hand, and I was suddenly intensely aware of the warmth of his skin against mine. I swallowed hard.
    In the World According to Morgan Kingsley, the fact that I was in love with Brian should have deadened my sexual attraction to every other male of the species. Sure, I could find them pleasing to look at. I could even entertain a fantasy or two. But I shouldn’t
want
them, not the way I wanted Lugh.
    “Feelings don’t respond to ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t,’” Lugh reminded me.
    “God damn it!” I said, finding the will to yank my hand from his grip. “Stop responding to my thoughts! Can’t you at least give me the
illusion
of privacy?”
    He raised one shoulder in a delicate shrug. “That would be a form of deception.”
    I snorted. As far as I could tell, Lugh had never outright lied to me, but he was perfectly capable of deceiving me. “So what?”
    “So that deception would serve no purpose except to anger you when you find yourself believing the illusion.”
    Against my better judgment, I liked Lugh. But at times like these, I’d have happily strangled him.
    “Has it ever occurred to you,” he continued, “that the reason you’re so attracted to me is precisely
because
your mind is completely open to me? I know your thoughts, your feelings, your fantasies, your secrets. And knowing all that, I still want you.”
    I jerked awake. It was the first time in a long while I had woken up from one of Lugh’s dreams without making a conscious effort. I sat up abruptly in bed, my skin clammy as I shivered in the air-conditioned chill of my apartment. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. Lugh’s words echoed in my mind, repeating endlessly. I wanted to shut the words out, to force my mind away from them. Because Lugh, damn him to hell, had struck at what he knew was a weakness in my emotional armor.
    To the outside world, I came off as bold, confident, even cocky. But I carry around a hell of a lot of baggage, and it’s stuffed to bursting with insecurity and self-doubt. That baggage kept me from fully committing to—or opening up to—Brian. I couldn’t help being terrified of what Brian would think of meif he
really
knew me, couldn’t help fearing that he would eventually wise up and discover that he was too good for me.
    “That was a low blow, Lugh,” I muttered to the empty room. Yeah, maybe Lugh knew what was in all that baggage I carried around, and yeah, in some ways that made him “safer”