Spin by Robert Charles Wilson Read Free Book Online Page B

up a monologue about every movie she had seen in the last twelve months. She paced me around the room for most of an hour, pausing now and then to snatch California rolls from a tray. When she excused herself for a bathroom visit I scooted over to Jason’s sulking place and begged him to go outside with me.
    “I’m not in the mood for sledding.”
    “Neither am I. Just do me a favor, okay?”
    So we put on our boots and jackets and trudged outside. The night was cold and windless. A half dozen Rice scholars stood huddled in a haze of cigarette smoke on the porch, glaring at us. We followed a path in the snow until we were more or less by ourselves at the top of a low hill, looking down on a few halfhearted sledders skidding through the circus glow of the Christmas lights. I told Jason about Holly, who had attached herself to me like a leech in Gap clothing. He shrugged and said, “Everybody’s got problems.”
    “What the hell is wrong with you tonight?”
    But before he could answer, my cell phone rang. It was Diane, back at the house. “Where’d you guys go? Holly’s kind of pissed. Abandoning her like that. Very rude, Tyler.”
    “There must be someone else she can aim her conversation at”
    “She’s just nervous. She hardly knows anyone here.”
    “I’m sorry, but how is that my business?”
    “I just thought you guys might hit it off.”
    I blinked. “Hit it off?” There was no good way to interpret that. “What are you saying, you set me up with her?”
    She paused for an incriminating second or two. “Come on, Tyler… don’t take it like that.”
    For five years Diane had been coming in and out of focus like an amateur movie, or so it seemed to me. There had been times, especially after Jason left for university, when I had felt like her best friend. She’d call, we’d talk; we shopped or saw movies together. We were friends. Buddies. If there was any sexual tension it appeared to be entirely on my side, and I was careful to keep it hidden, because even this partial intimacy was fragile—I knew that without having to be told. Whatever Diane wanted from me, it didn’t include passion of any kind.
    E.D., of course, would never have tolerated a relationship between me and Diane unless it was chaperoned, essentially infantile, and in no danger of taking an unexpected turn. But the distance between us seemed to suit Diane, too, and for months at a time I would hardly see her. I might wave at her while she waited for the Rice bus (when she was still at Rice); but during those lapses she wouldn’t call, and on the rare occasions when I was brazen enough to phone her she was never in a mood to talk.
    During these times I occasionally dated girls from school, usually timid girls who would (often explicitly) have preferred seeing a more conspicuously popular guy but who had resigned themselves to a second-string social life. None of these connections lasted long. When I was seventeen I lost my virginity to a pretty, startlingly tall girl named Elaine Bowland; I tried to convince myself I was in love with her, but we drifted apart with a combination of regret and relief after eight or nine weeks.
    After each of these episodes Diane would call unexpectedly, and we’d talk, and I wouldn’t mention Elaine Bowland (or Toni Hickock, or Sarah Burstein), and Diane would never quite get around to telling me how she’d spent her spare time during our hiatus, and that was okay because pretty soon we were back in the bubble, suspended between romance and pretense, childhood and maturity.
    I tried not to expect more. But I couldn’t stop wanting her company. And I thought she wanted mine. She kept coming back for it, after all. I had seen the way she relaxed when I was with her, her spontaneous smile when I came into a room, almost a declaration:
Oh, good, Tyler’s here. Nothing bad ever happens when Tyler’s here
.
    “Tyler?”
    I wondered what she’d said to Holly.
Tyler’s really nice
,
but he’s been