Spinning by Michael Baron Read Free Book Online Page B

us on the bench and put her hand, quite unintentionally, on my knee while she asked Diane a question. I didn’t talk or move until she took her hand away and returned to the fountain. Although I didn’t want to appear weird by pushing her hand away, I probably appeared worse by sitting so still.
    “Spring is the only thing I want in the world, Diane said softly, “but I’m the only thing she knows. I make all these decisions for her and I’m wondering if she’s going to resent me for them when she gets older. It’s the fall and some of the older children were leaving daycare for school. We came to New York because now was as good a time as any. We needed a change. Well, I needed a change and brought her along. We had no reason to stay in Chicago. Besides, I couldn’t stand to watch the lake freeze over one more winter.”
    She stared off for a few moments. I thought maybe I should say something here, but absolutely nothing came to mind.
    Finally, she continued. “Spring is a little girl. She wants two books, a song, a glass of water, and for us to pretend we’re animals for a few minutes before she falls asleep. Is that too much to demand in this world? It isn’t too much for me to give her. If we could, we’d stay up
all night every night playing whatever she wants. God, I wish I never had to sleep, so we could spend as much time as possible together.”
    Diane shifted her weight from one side to the other. I didn’t notice it right away, but I shifted with her.
    “I never told her biological father that I was pregnant. He never knew he had a daughter.” She swallowed. “After we split up, I never saw him again even when I got the news. Now I wonder if I did the right thing. It’s funny; I convinced myself for a short while that I was in love with him, but we really weren’t that close. I think I was just ready to be in love. The pregnancy was a total accident; a glorious accident, and in my mind her father had next to nothing to do with it. Is that stupid? Now that he hasn’t been a part of Spring’s life after all this time, I don’t know if it would do any good to tell him he’s a father, or tell Spring about her dad. Someday, I’ll have to. When she’s older. I just hope she won’t be incredibly upset with me when this plays out.”
    I got the sense that Diane had never shared these feelings before. I don’t know why she picked me to talk to. We barely knew each other. But her heart was open and I found that this meant a lot to me. I noticed a tear trickling down her cheek. I put my arm around her and held her. She squeezed harder than I thought she possibly could especially now when she seemed so delicate. Her long black waves brushed against my face, as she pressed her cheek against mine. Her tears had nowhere else to run, so they followed the lines of my face into the corners of my mouth.
    “I’m a big girl, Dylan. I can take care of Spring,” she said with a catch in her throat, “and we’ll be okay. I know we will. I know Spring will. This is a good change for us.
She took a deep breath. “But I worry about my little girl. She’s the only perfect love I’ve ever known.”
    I sat there for a moment, listening to Diane breathe and rock her daughter. Maybe this was what Waverly was talking about. He said something about knowing the difference between family and work. Why would anyone ever abandon this feeling?
    After a few minutes, she stopped crying but my face remained damp. As I hugged her, I wanted to tell her that I understood, that I could help. I also wanted to thank her for sharing something so important although I hadn’t completely understood. “Diane, Spring is a beautiful girl and she has a wonderful mother.” I hugged her close and waited for her to say something, but she had fallen asleep in my arms.

    “Wake up! Wake up, everybody!” I yelled, closing the door to my apartment. Diane and Spring were still in their pajamas.
    “Wake up? We’ve been up since 7:00. I