Standing on The Edge Of Goodbye by Mary Eason Read Free Book Online

an answer for that. "I’ve done things that I’m so ashamed of…” Her voice trailed away in a tight whisper. “I’ve been away from God as well.” Kate got to her feet and started to move away from him.
    “Sit down, Kate. Please.”
    She sank onto the love seat and he clasped her hand.
    Matt wished he could help her say the words.
    If You want me to believe You exist anymore, help me find the right words to say to her, now.
    “ We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. I’m living proof of that. It’s just part of human nature.”
    “No, you don’t understand.” She ignored Matt’s attempt at consolation. “I’ve done some very bad things. Things I can never take back.”
    He struggled to control his need to take her in his arms and hold her close. “I know how hard it is to trust again. I promise you can trust me to keep your secrets.”
    She smiled at little. “It’s hard. I’m afraid to trust people anymore. I know there are good people in the world, but once you’ve seen the bad side of human nature, well.”
    “Who hurt you?” Matt asked and gathered her close. He could feel her shuddering response. “Was it the baby’s father? Why didn’t you leave? Surely your grandmother would have helped you if you’d only asked?”                            
    With a shaky sob, she pushed him away and got to her feet, putting distance between them. 
    “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
    “You think I’m weak because I didn’t leave him. You have no idea what it was like to live with someone who you’re afraid will one day—” She stopped.
    He had no right to judge her. He’d lived the past three years blaming Caroline for his son’s death. He’d never really accepted his own role in that tragedy. “I’m sorry. You’re right I don’t know what it must have been like for you. I certainly have no right to condemn you.” He drew in a deep breath and tried to right his mistakes. “Please tell me what happened. I promise I won’t judge.”
    For a moment, seeing her silhouetted against the fading afternoon light, he believed she wouldn’t. When she finally spoke, he almost didn’t catch the words. Her voice was barely a whisper.
    “Josh was so sweet and gentle at first. I’d never really been around guys all that much. I guess I was pretty naive. Moving to a city like Austin and being on my own for the first time, well, it was quit a culture shock. I was there on scholarship and I studied and worked as much as possible. I was very lonely.
    “I met Josh my first year of law school and I was so amazed at how different he was from the other guys. We ended up spending all of our free time together.” Kate glanced back at Matt before going on. “I fell hard for him. No one ever made me feel that way before. I was in love with him, and I thought he felt the same way. It hurt just to be away from him. I believed this was what love was supposed to feel like. I was wrong.”
    She pleated the lace curtains, unaware that she was trembling “We married soon after we met and I moved in to his apartment. I was so inexperienced back then. I thought if we loved each other everything had to work out.”
    Her gaze slid back to his. There was no mistaking the bitterness in her voice as she sp oke of her husband.
    Matt knew bitterness too well.
    “Now I think that maybe he wasn’t capable of loving anyone. Josh never talked about his parents—ever. But I got the impression that they were very cold, very unemotional people who hurt him deeply. It wasn’t long before the abuse started. I tried to leave him, several times, but he always found me and he told me he’d kill me before he'd let me go. I believed him. Every single threat.”
    Matt could see all her pain and fear. He wished he could take it all away. He hated that someone had hurt her, taken away her innocence. He felt nothing but rage for the man.
    “But you did leave him. You were divorced?”