dreading the fact that
I was going to have to ride with them back to campus; if Bob wasn’t going to
shut up about the situation in the middle of a crowded restaurant, I couldn’t
imagine what he would be like in a car alone. I looked at my mom; how could she
stand to be around him? I wondered if Bob was any different with her. For the
first time, I wanted her to divorce him not because it would make it easier to
be with Jaxon but because it anyone would could be such a monumental asshole to
someone he barely knew—and even more of one to his own flesh and blood—could
obviously never be good enough for Mom. No matter how much she liked him and
his stupid mansion and the heaps of money he spent on her, the guy was a
complete and total asshole.
I felt myself getting angrier and angrier as it
became clear to me that Bob was almost enjoying his tirade—that he was like any
bully. He was treating our silence like a victory, his voice getting louder. I
remembered all the terrible things he’d said to Jaxon and the way Jaxon had
told me that every time his father lit into him he felt like he was still the
stupid, angry, reckless teenager. Jaxon didn’t deserve to have a dad that
treated him like shit. Even if I didn’t know what motivation Bob might have
had—and I’m sure that Jaxon was not easy to deal with—I couldn’t think of
anything at all that could possibly justify the kind of shit that Bob was
slinging, the way he lit into even me. I finished my entrée and set down my napkin.
All at once I had made up my mind.
I know the signs when I start getting too angry.
Everything around me starts getting too clear, too vivid. It’s rare that I
really get good and mad at someone—for the most part I feel like people just
aren’t worth the energy. But listening to Bob go on and on about what an
irresponsible waste Jaxon was, and seeing him pin me down and dare me with his
stupid half-drunk eyes to say anything else while he was slinging mud at me
too, I got to where I just couldn’t stand another minute of it. I drank down
the last of my soda and set my glass down. I stood up in one quick movement,
looking down at Bob. Mom was staring at me in shock, but I couldn’t have
stopped myself even if I had wanted to.
“You know what?” I said, keeping my voice as much
under control as humanly possible. “You’re an asshole, and I’ve had just about
enough of listening to you talk, Bob.” I looked at my mom; she was staring in
shock still, her face bright red, and I knew that she was just as humiliated by
the thought of me taking a stand as she ever could have been at Bob making a
scene. “I’m going to tell you something, Bob: Jaxon and me have absolutely nothing to do with you and Mom. We started seeing each other a
long time before you guys got married, and we’re seeing each other because
we’re in love with each other, simple as that.”
“Young lady, I am not finished talking to you,” Bob
started to say. I held up a hand.
“Yes, Bob, you are finished talking to me, because apparently all you have to talk about is how
screwed up I am, and what a fuck up Jaxon is, and frankly it was a hell of a
lot more interesting the last time you launched this tirade months ago. You
don’t have any new material so you might as well shut the hell up and listen.”
Bob sputtered, setting down his silverware. I saw the angry look in his eyes,
and part of me felt a flicker of fear—where did Bob draw the line? Jaxon had
never mentioned his father getting physical with him but it wasn’t hard to
imagine Bob losing his shit completely and going off that way. But I was tired,
I was angry, and I’d had enough of tiptoeing around what I wanted because our
parents were disturbed by what was going in between Jaxon and me.
“Jaxon and I are grown-ass adults, and if we want to
see each other, we absolutely will, and there is nothing that either of you can
do about it. Kick us out if you want to; I don’t think either Jaxon