Stiffed by Rob Kitchin Read Free Book Online

wasn’t me that called you in the middle of the night to ask you to help move a dead body.  It wasn’t me that turned up with a second body an hour later.  It’ll be me going to prison though if this all goes to shit.’
    Fair points.
    ‘Just relax will you, man,’ Jason says. ‘You’re freaking me out.’
    I’m freaking him out?  I take a deep breath and count to ten.  Relax?  Not a chance in hell. I’m wound tighter than a spring in a grandfather clock.
    ‘Who’s this dude anyway?’ Jason asks.
    ‘Earl Jenkins of Memphis, Tennessee,’ I say eventually.  That’s according to his driver’s license.  Except for his wallet, rental car keys and the gun, he wasn’t carrying anything else.  His business card says he’s the CEO of Earl Jenkins Entertainment Corp.
    ‘Memphi s?  What did he want before you attacked him?’
    ‘ I didn’t attack him, she did,’ I say, pointing to the sofa where Annabelle is staring at the gun in her hand.  ‘She hit him over the head with a spade.’
    ‘Fuck.’
    ‘That about sums it up.’
    I wind the line across to Redneck’s left foot and repeat the process.
    ‘Tell him about the million dollars,’ Anna says.
    ‘He thinks we have a million dollars that we stole from him.’
    ‘That Psycho-B itch stole from him,’ Anna corrects.
    ‘You hav e a million dollars?’ Jason asks.
    ‘Of course I don’t have a million dollars,’ I snap. So much for relaxing. ‘But Redneck here thinks I do.  He says he has Kate hostage and if I don’t give it back to him, then he’s going to kill me and then kill her.’
    ‘It sounds like you’re both dead then.’
    I pass the line up to Jason and he places Redneck’s left hand on the arm of the chair and starts to bind it in place.
    ‘ I’d say we’re all in the frame now, wouldn’t you?’ I say, pointing at Redneck. 
    Why should I be the only one to suffer?  I wasn’t the one that tried to hit his head for a home run.
    ‘This is your mess, Carrothead,’ Anna says.  ‘ We’re just trying to help you out.  It was your girlfriend that stole the million dollars.  She’s the reason why you’ve got two dead bodies and a whole heap of trouble.’
    Great.   We’re turning against each other.  And I’m not helping the situation.  The only way we’re going to find a way out of this madness is to work together. 
    ‘Look, this blame game isn’t helping,’ I say, trying to defuse matters.  ‘Perhaps we can trade with them?  We have him and his associates have her.  We can swap.’
    ‘ You want to trade for Psycho-Bitch?’ Anna says angrily.  ‘For God’s sake, Tadhg, she’s the one that got us into this mess.  No way are we trading for her.’
    Not quite the reaction I was hoping for, but perhaps one I should have expected.
    ‘Even if you swap him for her, you still owe him a million dollars,’ Jason says, finishing off the binding on Redneck’s left hand.  ‘Plus interest.’
    Damn .  What the hell would Kate have done with a million dollars?  Split between Jason, Annabelle, Paavo and myself, we could do a lot of things with a cool quarter of million dollars each.  Like, I don’t know, go on holiday or buy a barrow load of gadgets or retire or buy a car with a trunk that you could fit a body inside or something.
    My thoughts are interrupted by the front door bell.
    The three of us exchange eye contact.  Opening that door hasn’t proven to be a wise move so far today.  Christ only knows who is standing on the porch.  It could be Barry White or Joe Gerlach returning, or Aldo Pirelli or his associates, or some other lunatic brandishing a gun and a bad attitude.
    ‘It’ll be Paavo,’ Anna says.
    Or it could be Paavo.
    ‘Do you know how to use that thing,’ I say to Anna, pointing at the gun.
    ‘Aim and pull the trigger,’ she says condescendingly.
    Jason pulls the Raptor from a pocket in his shorts.
    ‘Put that away,’ I say, heading to the door.  ‘Fuck knows what you’ll