just seconds, and I was feeling clammy as I paid the man and eased my way out of the back of the dirty cab. I walked the rest of the way home with my head down and sticking to the shadows. I started to breathe in the familiar smells of fresh cut grass and honey-suckle bushes lining the backyards. Hearing the sounds of the neighborhood, of the occasional dog barking had brought both a sense of home and longing as well as deep profound sadness.
I took the street that lined the back of mine, and when I got to the house that shared a dividing wall with mine, I slowly crept to the edge of the wall. I looked up to see their seven-foot tall block wall, and without giving it a second thought I gave my legs the slightest bend and jumped right over it in one graceful bound. I made for the backyard wall and gave a slight pause so I could listen for the sound of anyone outside of my house.
My husband and I used to spend our nights outside, talking, drinking wine, and looking at the stars. Though it was late for that now, who knew what his schedule had been like for the past week? Assured that all was clear I gave another slight push, and I was up and over the wall ; this time I landed in a low crouch to keep myself better hidden.
I took a minute to take in the house and its surroundings ; it was nowhere near as lavish or considerable as the one Ana and William shared . I t was just a simple middle-class house, but it was the home I raised my children in. I loved this place and its memories, the overgrown yard with a huge tree in back. The crooked tree house that Antonio had built for the boys with its ‘No Mom’s Allowed’ sign nailed to the front of it. I loved everything about it, but mostly what was inside right now. I could hear four distinct heartbeats inside ; I wasn’t sure who the fourth belonged to, but I was going to find out.
The light was on in the kitchen and as I moved closer to the house I could see Antonio at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, sitting across from our neighbor Talia. She was reaching across to rub his arm in a soothing manner , and I could feel my fangs lengthening. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to focus on the smells and sounds of the neighborhood again.
I told myself that Antonio wasn’t doing anything wrong ; Talia was just trying to comfort him over my loss that was all. After all, I was the one who had kissed another man tonight. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at my husband’s strong, beautiful features ; he had dark circles under his eyes, he hadn’t shaved in days, and his hair was a mess. He looked awful, he looked utterly exhausted, it was a shock to see him like this.
My husband was from Italy and my opposite; he was tall and naturally lean . Y ou could see his muscles glide under the tailored business suits he wore every day. I couldn’t wait to tear them off him at night, even after a grueling day at work and years of marriage.
I reached out to put my hand on the glass but didn’t want to bring attention to the movement, so I just stepped back into the shadows to watch him for a moment longer. As I was about to move on to try to catch a glimpse of my boys, Antonio suddenly lifted his head to look straight in my direction. He began to get up and walk toward the window, and I fell back further, willing myself to remain unseen. As much as I wanted to let him know I was safe, not dead or half-alive in a ditch somewhere, I couldn’t bear the thought of them being murdered because they found out about me. Ana was right; my being here was too dangerous.
Antonio stopped to stare out the window into the yard; he was leaning on his arm speaking to Talia . “She’s out there, I know she is. If she could get back to us, she would. We have to find her, get her safe.”
He spoke with such sorrowful pain that it was breaking my heart all over again. I was seeing the full extent of his love, he wasn’t merely going to let me go, he was fighting for