Stranger in Dadland by Amy Goldman Koss Read Free Book Online Page A

school, I guess.
    I remembered the stomachache I got every day at the bus stop. Those rides were misery. Alex grabbing my books and not giving them back, tearing them or dropping them in the mud. Snatching away my homework and reading it out loud to anyone who’d listen. Calling me “Worm.”
    My skin crept. All these years later, I still hated him. But maybe it’s different if your tormentor is your own brother. Maybe Eric was okay sometimes. Maybe he and Beau had some sort of pact.
    My friend Theo back home fought with his little brother,Jeremy. Theo called Jeremy names and chased him away when he hung around us too long. But Theo didn’t
hate
Jeremy. He didn’t
hit
him. Well, a shove once in a while, when Jeremy was out of control, but nothing terrible.
    Wait, it didn’t seem terrible to
me
, but maybe it did to Jeremy. I didn’t like thinking my buddy Theo was as big a jerk as Eric, though, so I shook all of them out of my head. I concentrated on closing one eye at a time to make the plant in the corner jump back and forth. I wished I’d brought a book or my Game Boy or Walkman or
something.
    About nineteen hours later I went over to look at the building directory. There were DDS’s (that’s dentists), and some GP’s and an ob-gyn (all doctors). And two CPA’s (accountants), and lots of JD’s (lawyers). But there were a bunch of other names with initials after them that I didn’t know how to decode.
    I looked for Bill Frederick. The only Frederick was a Louis and Frederick Enterprises Inc., A.I.A. in suite 7392. What-could A.I.A. be, I wondered. American Igloo Advocates? American Independent Armies? How about Aggravating Industrial Ailments like Annoying Itchy Armpits?
    I went back to my chair. I tried holding my breath to the count of one hundred. I made faces at my reflection in the glass door. Then I had to pee. Then I
really
had to.
    I squirmed around in my chair for a while until it was unbearable. Then I went in search of the men’s room. A woman appeared but I couldn’t ask
her.
And anyway, she walked right past and didn’t even
see
me.
    Maybe I’d become invisible, in which case I could justpee right here in the lobby! There was no one around, but even if there were, all they’d see would be a yellow stream coming out of nowhere. Or maybe my pee was invisible too. I turned down a hall and there was the men’s room, but it was locked!
    It was getting
really
serious now. I hurried to the elevator and pushed the button eighty times until the door opened.
    Suite 7392 would be where? The seven thousandth floor? The seventy-third? I poked seven. The elevator dragged s-l-o-w-l-y upward; the doors s-l-o-w-l-y opened far enough for me to squeeze through. I bolted down the hall, looking for the Bill Frederick who did not appreciate lateness.
    There! Big glass doors, gold letters. I shoved the door open onto the largest, fanciest office I’d ever seen outside of the movies. A receptionist behind a very shiny desk looked surprised to see me.
    Somehow I got it across that my dad was in that office somewhere and that I needed the bathroom. By then I felt about one and a half seconds from taking a giant leak on the Oriental rug.
    The receptionist obviously didn’t believe me. Probably boys who didn’t
really
have dads there rode the elevator up to try to con her all the time. Maybe guarding the executive washroom from intruders was a significant part of her job. Finally, she pushed a button and spoke carefully through her intercom. “Excuse me, sir. But there’s a little boy here who
says
his father is inside.”
    She turned back to me. “What’s your name, honey?” she asked with what Liz calls “artificial sweetener.”
    “John,” I barked, about to burst.
    “He
says
his name is John and he’d like to use the bathroom.”
    Did I hear a
laugh
come from that intercom? At least it was followed by a “Sure.”
    So the receptionist got up s-l-o-w-l-y from her fat leather chair, walked s-l-o-w-l-y