Stray by Rachael Craw Read Free Book Online
Authors: Rachael Craw
with Synergist Coding; it makes you irrational and reckless … then alcohol on top. You could have hurt someone!”
My face flushes.
She covers her mouth. “You hurt someone?”
“No! It was a misunderstanding. Jamie stopped me.”
“Tell me. Now.”
“There was a girl, apparently. A cheerleader or something. Touching Jamie. I – I overreacted.”
She makes an infuriated noise. “You have no respect for the seriousness of your condition or the impact of Synergist Coding. It doesn’t simply amplify your signal. Your connection amplifies everything you feel about each other –
lust
, jealousy, protectiveness … Don’t you have any idea how easily you could kill someone or get someone killed? Goddamn it, you two are determined to ruin your lives!”
“Jamie didn’t do anything! It was me!”
“This is exactly why we don’t drink, Evangeline. You cannot afford slip-ups. What if you had exposed your gift?”
“Gift!” My volume triples. “You call this a gift?”
She sighs, hands falling from her hips, then she pulls out the old wooden chair from my desk and slumps into it, rubbing her face as she speaks to the floor. “Drunk, disorderly and probably pregnant.”
“I-am-not-pregnant!”
She eyes me like a child who has just said something very stupid. “How many times do we have to go over this? Your body is in overdrive. Your DNA is made for reproduction. Every cell in your body is designed to respond to
his
signal. It’s for a reason!” She makes a spluttering noise. “Did you think to use protection?” She glowers and heat floods my face. “Not that it would make much difference for you two.”
“We did not have sex!” I am too angry to care that Jamie will hear us.
“I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t care! We didn’t!” My ears ring and spots pop in my peripheral vision. “And for what it’s worth, even if we had, it’s none of your business. I am not a child!”
She gets to her feet. “You are
my
–” She stops herself. Unable to look at me, she inhales and exhales through her nose, lowers her voice and tries again. “Responsibility … you are my responsibility. And you know how dangerous it is for you to be with him. There is no such thing as safe sex for you two. Why can’t you understand it?”
“I understand just fine!”
“You think there won’t be consequences for this? There are always consequences. Always a cost. A price you can’t afford.”
“This is my life!”
“You want to end up like me?” Her voice drops low, almost a whisper, and my chest constricts. The story of Miriam’s cataclysmic love affair. Apparently, the worst thing that could have happened was producing Aiden and me.
My thoughts shift to my brother in Roxborough Detention Centre and coming doom. I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry about Jamie sleeping over. I was hammered. He brought me home early so that I could sleep it off. He was only going to stay until you got home.” I wave at her like she’s somehow a contributor to the outcome but hurry on at her expression. “He stayed because I asked him to. He was a total gentleman – believe me, a saint. If things had gone my way last night, then you’d be entitled to your rant. I don’t know what your problem is with Jamie, anyway. He’s only ever treated me with respect.” I finish in a gust, “And I love him.”
And they’re out there, words I haven’t said to Jamie yet, travelling through floorboards and down hallways to his highly attuned ears. I burn with defiance and embarrassment at having blurted something so precious and fragile and secret to Miriam who looks like she wants to take a sledgehammer to each word. Her face works. Her mouth opens then clamps shut again. Finally, she says, half-strangled, “My problem with Jamie is his selfishness.”
I’ve heard this speech before.
“What it will mean for you,” she says, “being with him. What it will mean for him, being with you. Especially when he has an
My face flushes.
She covers her mouth. “You hurt someone?”
“No! It was a misunderstanding. Jamie stopped me.”
“Tell me. Now.”
“There was a girl, apparently. A cheerleader or something. Touching Jamie. I – I overreacted.”
She makes an infuriated noise. “You have no respect for the seriousness of your condition or the impact of Synergist Coding. It doesn’t simply amplify your signal. Your connection amplifies everything you feel about each other –
lust
, jealousy, protectiveness … Don’t you have any idea how easily you could kill someone or get someone killed? Goddamn it, you two are determined to ruin your lives!”
“Jamie didn’t do anything! It was me!”
“This is exactly why we don’t drink, Evangeline. You cannot afford slip-ups. What if you had exposed your gift?”
“Gift!” My volume triples. “You call this a gift?”
She sighs, hands falling from her hips, then she pulls out the old wooden chair from my desk and slumps into it, rubbing her face as she speaks to the floor. “Drunk, disorderly and probably pregnant.”
“I-am-not-pregnant!”
She eyes me like a child who has just said something very stupid. “How many times do we have to go over this? Your body is in overdrive. Your DNA is made for reproduction. Every cell in your body is designed to respond to
his
signal. It’s for a reason!” She makes a spluttering noise. “Did you think to use protection?” She glowers and heat floods my face. “Not that it would make much difference for you two.”
“We did not have sex!” I am too angry to care that Jamie will hear us.
“I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t care! We didn’t!” My ears ring and spots pop in my peripheral vision. “And for what it’s worth, even if we had, it’s none of your business. I am not a child!”
She gets to her feet. “You are
my
–” She stops herself. Unable to look at me, she inhales and exhales through her nose, lowers her voice and tries again. “Responsibility … you are my responsibility. And you know how dangerous it is for you to be with him. There is no such thing as safe sex for you two. Why can’t you understand it?”
“I understand just fine!”
“You think there won’t be consequences for this? There are always consequences. Always a cost. A price you can’t afford.”
“This is my life!”
“You want to end up like me?” Her voice drops low, almost a whisper, and my chest constricts. The story of Miriam’s cataclysmic love affair. Apparently, the worst thing that could have happened was producing Aiden and me.
My thoughts shift to my brother in Roxborough Detention Centre and coming doom. I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry about Jamie sleeping over. I was hammered. He brought me home early so that I could sleep it off. He was only going to stay until you got home.” I wave at her like she’s somehow a contributor to the outcome but hurry on at her expression. “He stayed because I asked him to. He was a total gentleman – believe me, a saint. If things had gone my way last night, then you’d be entitled to your rant. I don’t know what your problem is with Jamie, anyway. He’s only ever treated me with respect.” I finish in a gust, “And I love him.”
And they’re out there, words I haven’t said to Jamie yet, travelling through floorboards and down hallways to his highly attuned ears. I burn with defiance and embarrassment at having blurted something so precious and fragile and secret to Miriam who looks like she wants to take a sledgehammer to each word. Her face works. Her mouth opens then clamps shut again. Finally, she says, half-strangled, “My problem with Jamie is his selfishness.”
I’ve heard this speech before.
“What it will mean for you,” she says, “being with him. What it will mean for him, being with you. Especially when he has an