Strife: Hidden Book Four by Colleen Vanderlinden Read Free Book Online

anyone see how bad you want to panic, how bad you want to run. You do that, and there’ll be someone ready to take you down.
    I grew up here. I know. I’d been chased by boys and girls alike, beaten up in alleys and backyards, until I learned how to act like a badass. Until I beat up my first few bullies. Until I made it clear, when I was twelve years old, that I was the one they should be afraid of.
    Of course, I didn’t understand back then why I could hurt them so easily. All I knew was that they started leaving me in peace.
    I made my way back toward my car, where Bash was sitting, along with a couple of the other imps. I’d started trying to learn all of their names. The two male imps he was sitting with were Elsog and Vadin. “Anything?” Bashiok asked as he stood and thumped his fist to his chest. The other two imps followed suit.
    “I have an idea of who we’re looking for now,” I said, and Bash pumped his fist into the air. I’d had them working nonstop trying to find something, anything, and they were getting frustrated as well. Without a physical description of Strife or what it looked like when she affected someone, they’d been taking guesses and hoping they worked out. So far, everything had been a dead end. I described the woman I’d seen in the young woman’s head, as well as what it looks like when Strife had someone under her influence. All four imps listened, focused. Four pairs of glowing orange eyes looked up at me as I finished talking.
    “Demon needs to know this,” Bash said, and I nodded.
    “I’ll call him later. I’ll have to fill him in on what happens with the vamp queen anyway.”
    “Really going to see her, Mistress?” Dahael said, ears drooping a little.
    “Yes. I have to. Besides, I want to see who Shanti’s working for. I’ve put this off too long.”
    “Already been a long crazy day,” she said, taking my hand gently in her gnarled ones. “Rest. Exhaust yourself, that thing takes over,” she said, and I knew she was referring to the darkness, sitting smug inside me, enjoying the pain I was still in after using my powers.
    “Just this one last thing. And then I will go home and rest,” I promised her.
    “And eat food like a normal person,” she said, putting her hands on her hips.
    I smiled. “Don’t push it.”

Chapter Three
     
    By the time it was dark, I’d rescued two Normals from a house fire and broken up a handful of fights on my way from Seven and Kelly to Palmer Woods, which was where the vampire queen lived. I’d also managed to stop hurting from using my powers, which was a bonus. It was taking longer to recover after using them, and no matter how many times I promised myself I wouldn’t, I ended up using them anyway. Part of it was habit; I’d been using my mind control powers since I was seventeen. Part of it was laziness. I could make someone tell me what I wanted to know without using them, but that took a lot of threatening and sometimes a lot of punching and it was just so much easier to take what I wanted by using my powers.
    I am well aware of how evil that sounds.
    That has been pretty much everyone’s fear from the beginning. I know it stressed the hell out of Nain, especially early on. What would happen if I went bad? What damage could I cause if I ever decided to use my abilities for my own gain instead of for protecting others? And I know, even when I use my powers for noble purposes, that I’m walking a thin line between good and evil. Part of me believes that the things I do are never right, that it’s not okay to violate someone’s mind, to force my way in and take what I want. And there’s guilt there, for sure. But I try to weigh it against the lives I’m potentially saving by learning what I do. Most of the time, the balance tips toward “well, I don’t hate myself for this.”
    And sometimes, I forget to feel guilty about what I’m doing. That scares me more than anything else. I’m reaching the point where control