Sunday Morning: A Damaged Novella by Bijou Hunter Read Free Book Online Page A

looking for anything more than to live
comfortably.
    That was before Jodi.
    She had me wanting more. I had fantasies in my head
about keeping her and taking over the club and living my life in the way that
only worked in dreams.
    Jodi would likely outgrow me, or I’d disappoint
her. The club didn’t want new management, and I wasn’t really willing to spill
my brothers’ blood to take what I wanted.
    Life wasn’t about unicorns and rainbows. It was
cold and unflinching. I survived by being smart. I didn’t see any reason to
embrace stupidity at the ripe old age of forty-two.

9 - Jodi
    K irk was my man long before we ever kissed. He drove
me to and from school. We ate most of our meals together. I woke up to find him
waiting for me and fell asleep with him watching me. The man loved me before
his lips ever met mine.
    In the evening, we watched TV. Sometimes, we
talked. Sometimes, we didn’t. At first, Kirk sat in a chair, keeping his
distance. One night, he plopped down on the couch while I made popcorn. I
wanted so badly to say something about the change. Was he finally admitting
he wanted me? Could we stop pretending to be friends or that he was only a nice
man letting me live at his place?
    Kirk wasn’t ready that night to admit anything. I
saw how his jaw clenched whenever I looked at him. He still struggled, so I
gave him space.
    Weeks stretched into months. I only saw my mother
once when I dropped by for Thanksgiving. She asked if I was knocked up yet. I
said I loved her, but she could go fuck herself. It was one of our better
conversations.
    The Christmas lights from the small tree in the
corner hypnotized me. This apartment felt like my home, and the man at my side
was my love.
    I wanted to seduce Kirk. In my fantasies, I’d
imagined seducing him a thousand times. Most days at school, I daydreamed about
kissing Kirk. I considered what to say, how to move, and even what I might
wear.
    Before Kirk, I’d only kissed one guy, and his lips
were sloppy. I hadn’t hated it, but I never wanted a repeat. I even wondered if
I wasn’t a sexual person. Not wanting sex would be an excellent way to avoid
becoming my mother.
    Except with Kirk, I knew I wanted sexy. In fact, I
constantly thought about touching him.
    Finally, I worked up the courage to make my
fantasies real.
    “How often do you shave?” I asked, sitting on my
knees and caressing his stubbled jaw.
    “Every few days. Why?”
    “Just wondering,” I murmured. “How do you decide
when it’s time?”
    Cupping his face, I studied his rugged features.
Kirk didn’t answer my question. He watched me with eyes that drew me closer.
    “If you keep this up, I won’t make it four and a
half years.”
    “What do I care? That’s your goal, not mine.”
    Kirk smiled at me, and my heart immediately raced
under his gaze. He was perfection without being perfect. While I didn’t
understand a lot in life, I understood this man was special.
    “When you’re young,” he said, looking back at the
TV, “you want to grow up fast. Once you get old, you want life to slow down.”
    “I want to grow up fast because I have no power as a
kid. I can’t decide anything. I can’t even make you take me to the bedroom.”
    “No, you can’t, but you’re sure as hell making me
second-guess my choices.”
    “Good.”
    Kirk avoided my gaze. “You don’t know what you
want. You only know you’re lonely.”
    “I’m not lonely.”
    “Yeah, you are,” he said, holding my gaze. “I was
like you growing up. I didn’t know who to trust or what was happening next in
my life. I wanted to stay in juvie hall just because I knew what to expect. I
had a life there. That’s fucked up, but that’s not so different from you
wanting me here.”
    “Isn’t it possible that I just want you because
you’re handsome, and I’m a normal woman who likes handsome men?”
    “I guess.”
    I skimmed his jaw with my fingers and smiled.
“You’re more afraid of this than I