Super Schnoz and the Invasion of the Snore Snatchers by Gary Urey Read Free Book Online

harvesting more and more of your snores to use against us. They will use your nose to cause earthquakes and destroy our civilization. Their master plan is to invade Earth and then build a new world in their own image.”
    â€œGood-bye, Earth; hello, Apnea,” Mumps muttered.
    Vivian pointed to the screen. “Look!” she yelled. “The Apneans are moving the light shield!”
    Everyone stared at the screen. I watched in horror as the aliens pulled away the light shield and revealed the most disturbing, the most frightening thing I had ever seen in my life.
    â€œIt’s…it’s…” Jimmy stuttered, but the words got stuck in his throat.
    Mumps collapsed in a fleshy lump at my feet. Vivian gaped in wide-eyed astonishment. Dr. Wackjöb just looked on with a serious expression on his face.
    â€œIt’s an enormous spaceship shaped like Schnoz’s honker!” TJ cried. “They created a giant Robo-Nose to destroy the world!”

CHAPTER 14
    ROBO-NOSE
    F rom the screen, Robo-Nose looked like a ten-story-high, five-school-bus-wide replica of my beak, right down to the shape of my bristly nose hairs. I watched as hundreds of Apneans climbed inside the mechanical muzzle. Moments later, a thrust of snore-fueled, boogery snot exploded from the metal nostrils like a thousand rocket blasts. Robo-Nose slowly rose off the ground, hovered in midair, and then shot through the atmosphere and out of sight.
    â€œThey are coming for us,” Dr. Wackjöb said. “They have powered their nasal ship with Gríöarstór Nef’s snores.They will then fly around to different parts of the earth and cause massive earthquakes to destroy our planet.This is just as I predicted but no one would believe me!”
    â€œHow long will it take for them to get here?” Vivian asked.
    Dr. Wackjöb punched some numbers into a computer program. “Apnea is four billion light-years from Earth. If my calculations are correct and Robo-Nose is traveling at the speed of snores, it should take them two solar days to reach our planet.”
    â€œA solar day is twenty-four hours,” TJ said. “They’ll be here on Saturday.”
    â€œThat stinks!” grumbled Mumps. “I was supposed to go to fishing on Lake Winnipesaukee this Saturday with my uncle. But now it looks like I’m going to have to help save the world from an alien invasion.”
    â€œWell, get over it!” Jimmy barked in Mumps’s face. “If Apneans take over Earth you’ll never go fishing again—because you’ll be DEAD!

    â€œKnock it off, you two,” Vivian ordered. “We have to come up with a plan or we’re all goners.”
    â€œVivian is right,” I said. “It’s up to us to save the world.” I turned to Dr. Wackjöb. “And how exactly will we accomplish that?”
    â€œWe fight fire with fire,” Dr. Wackjöb said. “Or, in your case, we fight nostril with nostril. Is it true that you blew up army tanks and large trucks with just your nose?”
    â€œAbsolutely!” I announced proudly. “Well, with the help of a snoot full of cayenne pepper. Do you want to see what it can do?”
    Dr. Wackjöb nodded and we walked outside. Luckily, Vivian had reminded me to bring a bottle of pepper. At the back of the compound were six massive boulders. I knew from school that retreating glaciers from ten thousand years ago had left them behind. I took a huge sniff of cayenne, aimed, and sneezed with all my snot. The boulders shot off the ground like golf balls smacked from a tee and then exploded into a million pebbles.
    â€œAstonishing!” Dr. Wackjöb gushed. “That nose of yours is as a lethal weapon!”
    â€œNow we know exactly why the Apneans picked Schnoz,” Jimmy said.
    â€œWithout a doubt, young man. I think we just may have a fighting chance against these invaders. Your proboscis is one of the most