There’d always been that feeling that his single life was a temporary thing and one day he was going to do the traditional thing and find a girl and maybe get married and have kids. And when he imagined his life like that, the girl he married was always the same.
Sasha.
Now that she’d been in his condo it was so easy to imagine her there, waiting for him to come home.
Sometimes he questioned his sanity. She’d been sixteen when they’d been together. Sensei was right. People did change. He’d changed. Sort of. In some ways. But in other ways, he felt like he was exactly the same person he’d been back then at eighteen. He knew more now, and in that classic wish, wished he’d known then what he knew now. Things might have been different. No, things would have been different.
He shut down his computer and left the empty, quiet office, taking the elevator down to the parking garage where he’d left his Jag. When he pulled out of the garage and onto the street, he automatically turned left to head for home. But then suddenly he changed his mind. He found a place to make a U-turn and went the opposite direction, away from the Gold Coast and toward Bucktown.
It hadn’t been difficult to find out where Sasha lived. He knew quite a few details about her. And this wasn’t the first time he’d driven past the duplex house she lived in. Owned by one Kevin Chillen. That made his insides burn, that she was living with a guy, but his research had seemed to indicate that Sasha dated other men, so he was going on the premise that they were roommates. It still bugged him though.
Sasha shook her head and stabbed another piece of pasta. “No. I didn’t get pregnant. I knew about safe sex. And Jack was responsible that way too. God.” She closed her eyes, remembering him back then. He had been responsible, with her, anyway, even though he’d been a bit of a bad boy at school. He’d had a tough life, with his parents dying and him and his little sister Emma having to move in with his bachelor uncle, who drank and partied a lot and wasn’t much of a parent. Jack had taken care of Emma and he’d taken care of Sasha, always, and she’d thought he loved her the same way she loved him.
“My parents didn’t just catch us making out. They caught us…well, Jack had tied me up.”
Kevin’s eyebrows rose, but he said nothing. Even though she was pretty sure he wouldn’t judge, she hesitated then forged on.
“My parents were supposed to be away for the whole weekend, but they came home early because my mom wasn’t feeling well, and walked in on us. We were both naked, and I was tied up, and…” Her insides crawled with remembered embarrassment. “Jack covered me up. But then we couldn’t get the knots undone. It was such an epic disaster.”
“Okay,” Kevin said slowly. “So, um, how did that come about? I gather you consented?”
Her head dropped forward again. “I did consent, but that was my mistake. I don’t know why I did that. I guess I wanted to make Jack happy. We’d been trying different things…” How could she admit that she’d been excited about it? That she’d wanted it too. Embarrassment crawled beneath her skin. “Anyway, my parents freaked out, as you said. My dad just about had a heart attack and my mom was crying, and it was really ugly.”
Kevin met her eyes and gave her a small encouraging smile. “You know I’ve been there, doll.”
“I know.” She gave him a wry smile in return and reached out to squeeze his hand. “I was really, really in love with him,” she continued, her voice going low as her throat tightened up. “I thought he felt the same about me. When my mom saw Jack hitting me—”
“Wait, what?” Kevin held up a hand, frowning. “He was hitting you? You said he tied you up. What do you mean, he was hitting you?”
“It wasn’t a big deal. Anyway, my mom went berserk. She wanted me to see a psychologist, and I did go a couple of times, but I