Swim the Fly by Don Calame Read Free Book Online Page B

Ingrid. I’m not hungry.” I should know better than to get into a conversation with this bird.
    “Eunuch,” she says to me, but I just leave it. You learn after not so long that the parrot always gets the last word.
    “They do it all the time in the movies,” I hear Sean say as I enter his twin sister Cathy’s room.
    “They also have zombies, aliens, and dragons in the movies,” Coop says. “It’s called make-believe for a reason.”
    Cathy’s room is like a haunted mansion. There are gargoyles and dark red drapes and a zillion half-melted candles all over the place. Cathy used to be all pink and yellow and girlie, and then one day she went over to the dark side. No one seems too worried about her, though, because she’s an honor student and she knows three languages and can play the violin and never gets into any kind of trouble. Mrs. Hance tells anyone who asks that it’s just a phase and that you can’t stop people from expressing themselves. So no one really says anything. They just pretend Cathy is still the same old Cathy and not someone who celebrates Halloween 365 days a year.
    “It’ll work — you’ll see,” Sean says, his head buried in a dark wooden chest at the foot of Cathy’s bed. He’s pulling out all of Cathy’s old, pre–Addams Family clothes. Blouses and skirts and sundresses.
    “What’s up?” I say.
    Coop turns and smirks. “Einstein here thinks he’s got the perfect plan to see Mandy Reagan naked.”
    “I don’t like it already,” I say, looking at the girl clothes piling up on the floor.
    Sean gets to his feet and brushes off his pants. “You’ll like it when you see Mandy Reagan with nothing on.”
    “Sean’s still going on about how Mandy takes tae kwon do down at the Community Center,” Coop says.
    “So”— I shrug —“you want us to dress up like girls and take tae kwon do? I’m sure she doesn’t do the class in the nude.”
    “No, dill weed,” Sean scoffs. “We dress up like girls, a little makeup, and then hang out in the women’s locker room. When Mandy’s finished with her class, she’ll come into the change room all sweaty and she’ll shuck down to take a shower and we’ll be there to witness her oh-so-heavenly body.”
    I shake my head. “We’ll never get away with it.”
    “That’s what I told him,” Coop says.
    “You’re both wrong.” Sean turns toward the mirror over the bureau and looks at his reflection. “Think about it. It’s not like any of us have any whiskers. Put on a wig, some frilly clothes, some lip gloss, and no one’s going to look twice.”
    “My mom works at the Community Center,” I remind him. “She’ll recognize me.”
    “Let’s just see how we look before you go nixing theidea.” Sean bends over and grabs a flowery blue dress. “I’ll go first if you guys are too chicken.”
    “Are you sure no one’s coming home?” Coop says.
    “Positive. My dad’s at work, my mom’s at the dentist, and Cathy’s over at a friend’s house. We’ve got, like, two hours.”
    “All right. What the hell,” I say, scooping up a denim skirt and a pink button-down. “But if any one of us
can’t
pass for a girl — like,
really
pass for a girl — then we don’t do this.”
    “You guys are freaks.” Coop squats down and starts rummaging through the clothes. “But if it means seeing Mandy Reagan’s sweater sacks, I’d dress up as pretty much anything.”
    Coop picks up a green shirt, then puts it down again. He finds a tank top but discards that as well.
    “Just grab whatever,” Sean says.
    “No. I want to look pretty. Us plump girls need to be careful what we wear.” Coop finds a flowing violet velvet blouse and a white pleated skirt. “This could work.”
    We all strip down to our underwear and start putting on the girl clothes. This is a little weird, I have to say. The three of us playing dress-up with Sean’s sister’s old stuff. I’ve never even tried wearing girl’s clothes before, but it might