Tabloidology by Chris McMahen Read Free Book Online

tilted her head back. “Do you believe in our school motto, Martin?”
    â€œYes, except when it comes to her,” Martin said, throwing a quick glance at Trixi. “We’ve hated each other since my first day at this school.”
    â€œYeah,” Trixi said. “We’ve never liked each other. Ever.”
    â€œShe’s right, Ms. Baumgartner,” Martin said, looking the principal in the eye. “The first day I was here, she poured chocolate milk down the back of my shirt.”
    â€œHe’s right,” Trixi said. “My friends and I thought it was a good way to welcome him to the school.”
    â€œThat’s right!” Martin said, nodding rapidly. “And she and her friends threw snowballs at me on my way home and hit me in the eye!”
    â€œMartin’s right. We figured he deserved it because he’s the geekiest kid in the entire school.”
    â€œPrecisely!” Martin said, nodding his head even faster. “And Trixi’s got to be the most obnoxious person I’ve ever met!”
    â€œAbsolutely!” Trixi replied. “And let’s not forget to mention Martin’s bad breath. It’s so bad, it could knock a buzzard off a manure spreader!”
    â€œShe’s right! And she’s got the personality of a bag of rusty nails!”
    â€œI couldn’t agree with you more!” Trixi grinned.
    â€œSo you can see, Ms. Baumgartner, it would be impossible for the two of us to work together on the newspaper,” Martin said.
    â€œMartin’s right. We’d never be able to agree on anything! And besides,” Trixi said, “you can’t force us to work together.”
    â€œYou’re absolutely right, Trixi,” the principal said. “I can’t force you to work on the paper, so I’ll give you two choices.”
    â€œTwo choices? Okay. What are they?”
    â€œChoice number one: you can work together and make the school newspaper a success,” Ms. Baumgartner said.
    â€œYeah, yeah, sure thing,” Trixi said. “What’s choice number two?”
    â€œChoice number two: we shut the newspaper down, and you, Trixi, can spend the next ten Saturdays washing school buses. I’m sorry it’s come to this, Trixi, but things have reached a point where your antics just can’t go on any longer. You’ve got to stay out of trouble and apply yourself to your schoolwork. That’s the only way your skills will improve. I’m giving you an opportunity to do all that with the school newspaper.
    So, what’ll it be?”
    Trixi sighed. “Is there a choice number three?”

    As Martin left the principal’s office, he felt like he’d been kicked in the stomach by a horse, whacked in the shins by a kangaroo and punched in the nose by a gorilla. The Upland Green Examiner wasn’t really the school’s newspaper. It was his newspaper. Every dotted i and crossed t was his doing. No one else in the school was good enough to work on his paper, especially not Trixi Wilder!
    Martin’s only hope was that Trixi would rather wash school buses than work on the newspaper. But knowing Trixi, that wasn’t very likely. As Martin headed to class, he was madly trying to figure out a way to outsmart Trixi and prevent her from completely ruining his newspaper.

    As Trixi walked home, she thought about what had happened in Ms. Baumgartner’s office. She wasn’t too crazy about the choices Ms. Baumgartner had given her: wasting her lunch hours writing some dumb school newspaper with Martin Wettmore or getting up early Saturday mornings to wash school buses.
    Trixi halted on the sidewalk in front of her house and stood tapping the side of her head with a finger. Washing school buses or working on the school newspaper? Which one offered more possibilities? She could paint the school buses different colors or install whoopee cushions on all the seats. What about the