her hand,
my tired mind, empty,
open—
The night erupts into flowing
white glory:
She comes to me,
a pure and shining presence,
knocking on my soul,
defogged, unfuddled,
reveling in perfection,
spilling joy that
embraces my sorrow,
she smiles
and waves
farewell.
LEESIE HUNT / CHATSPOT LOG / 10/04 8:32 A.M.
chapter 11
POOL DIVE
MICHAEL’S DIVE LOG—VOLUME #8
i walk up to the pool from Gram’s. Thinking about diving—really getting off somewhere, strapping on tanks, and sinking a hundred feet—makes my heart pump warm blood all through me. Lukewarm? For the first time in this dreary wasteland, i actually feel hot.
Tonight’s a test. If this works, i’ll cut school and take off for a week. It’s still warm enough in the Keys. October diving is great there. The place is always next to empty. We loved that. But now—empty? i don’t know. It’s not just off-season. Maybe i could go, fool myself that the missing divers are all back home at work. But my mom and dad? Our condo sitting there full of all our best memories?
i better make it Cozumel, where i can lie back and drift on the currents, let them carry me back to the world Isadore stole. Silent Peaceful. Carefree as juvie fish flitting over the coral. Majestic as an eagle ray spreading its wings and flying through a canyon. Blue so true it sinks right through you. A load better than huddling under the pants quilt, holding my breath while Isadore shrieks at me. Freak—it’d even beat out my pills.
The lake yesterday. Huge mistake. I’ve never felt that freaked underwater. This time i’ll be in a safe, controlled environment. i’ve even got a buddy. She’s there already, pacing around her country girl white pickup that glows under a streetlamp.
Leesie meets me at the edge of the light. No smile. Arms folded. Hair pulled back. “You sure you want to do this?”
“Thanks for coming.” i feel so dumb. “Sorry for yesterday.” i kick a piece of gravel and then look back at her. Her eyes are blue tonight, fill her face. “Truce?”
She falls for that. An echo of her smile hints. With a little encouragement she’d fall for a lot more. She’d probably be better than diving in frozen lakes and swimming pools. But she’d have to be pretty good to top a week drift diving Cozumel.
i close in on her, whiff her trapped hair and hip suede, and almost ditch the dive test and go with the hormones she’s sparking. Maybe i’m not completely numb to chicks. Thawing? In the Ice Queen’s realm?
She backs off, turns toward the pool. “Let me show you the way in.”
We climb over the counter and drop into a room full of chewed foam noodles, lifeguard rings, and broken kickboards. A blow-up dolphin sags in the corner. i follow Leesie through an empty doorway out to the pool. i take off my jacket and slip off my track pants. i’ve already got my wet suit on.
She slaps her hand over her eyes. “I didn’t realize you’d be stripping again.”
“i’m not. Look, fully clothed.”
She peeks through her fingers. “That’ll keep you warm?”
i hold out my arm. “Warm enough.”
She comes over to me and touches the neoprene sleeve. “Poor DeeDee.” She tips her head back. Our eyes connect.
“What?”
“She’s missing a show.”
“Come off it.” i look like a string bean in a wet suit.
She eases away and perches on a picnic table.
i turn and stare at the water. “This is my thickest suit. i lost my three mil in Belize or i’d double up.”
“Belize?”
i ignore that. “Those are heaters, right?” Round plastic disks with black cords snaking out of them bob in the water. “They won’t electrocute me, will they?”
Leesie shakes her head. “You’re safe. They just keep the water from freezing—that’s it. You ready for another swim in ice water?”
i whip my weight belt around my waist and buckle it. “Be