Taking Chances by John Goode Read Free Book Online

had no idea what he was doing there. I would watch him watch me as I waited for him to say something. It took me a few times to realize he was the guy who had been staring at me when I mowed the lawn. I had dismissed it as just another kid staring at the time, but once I connected the two events, I became nervous. Each time, he would wander away, leaving me more confused than before. This went on for a week, until the thought that maybe he liked me passed through my mind, which was the worst thing that could have occurred to me. It set off a paranoid set of dominoes that made me wonder if I was giving off some vibe he was picking up on. Those thoughts spiraled into themselves until I headed to my dad’s shop and waited for him to close rather than risk being seen gay.
    The sad part was that I never once thought Matt might be gay also.
    As I sat in the same shop years later, I felt ancient as I stared at Nancy’s diner across the street. I saw Brad’s car pull up in front and him and Kyle jump out and race inside. I had taken an interest in Brad ever since I heard he had come out as Foster High’s first gay athlete. Kyle and he had done what I would have never had the guts to do at their age, and the least I could do was try to support them any way I could. Brad was the path not taken, a younger me who hadn’t let his fear of being exposed stop him from going after what he really wanted. In Brad’s case, that was Kyle.
    The two of them looked so happy, so freaking young, that I felt even more depressed. I suppose there is nothing in the world that reminds someone he is an old coot than seeing a young couple in love. All you can see is the potential, the energy, and the time. They have their whole lives ahead of them.
    While mine felt like it was ending one second at a time.
    I shook myself out of my self-decorated and catered pity party and decided to take advantage of a rare lull at the shop. I locked the front door and jogged across the street to the diner. It was overrun with the usual lunch crowd, but it wasn’t so big a place that I couldn’t see where they were sitting from the door.
    Out of breath, I slid into the booth and announced, “I need some help.” My mouth was dry, and I realized I was so worked up I was close to having a panic attack. I grabbed Brad’s Coke and downed it, trying to calm down.
    “Hey,” Brad said, scooting over to give me some room. “Um, help yourself.”
    I nodded as I finished the drink. “Thanks.” I looked across the table and smiled. “Hey, Kyle.”
    Kyle waved back, still half shocked that I had crashed their date.
    “So what’s up?” Brad asked, probably wondering if I was having a heart attack or something.
    I felt my mind start to lock up as the familiar fear of being found out came back full force. Before I was completely crippled, I blurted out, “My mom is trying to set up me with someone.”
    Brad looked at me, confused. “Your mom? I thought she lived in Florida.”
    I heard myself snap at him. “She does, but she still owns a phone.” I mentally berated myself immediately—he hadn’t done a thing to me. That thought was followed by the humbling fact that I was a grown man talking to two teenagers about my love life because I didn’t have any gay friends my own age.
    I was truly pathetic.
    Brad paused for a moment before asking me in a neutral voice, “Okay, so who is she trying to set you up with?”
    “Matt Wallace,” I said, picking a piece of ice out of the glass.
    “I don’t know him. He’s from here?” he asked, no doubt curious because he hadn’t heard the gay population of Foster had doubled overnight.
    “He’s from here, but he doesn’t live here,” I corrected him. “We kind of went to high school together. He lives in San Francisco.”
    “Your mom is trying to set you up with a guy who lives in another state?” Kyle asked.
    I nodded. “Well, he’s coming back for Christmas; his parents still live here.”
    “So she’s more