One
"Jon."
"Yes Jane?"
"Merry Christmas."
"Thanks."
It took a moment for that to sink in.
"Wait. What?"
"Merry Christmas."
I looked up from where I sat at my desk, in
my Ready Room on BigMother. I was still feeling the morning workout, and
pondering having eaten too much breakfast. I still couldn’t get the hang of
breakfast, but it was better than gurgling insides late in the morning. I had
tried getting up later, but BA's reaction hadn't been worth it.
Jane stood in the doorway.
"What are you…?"
I stopped.
I vaguely recalled reading about Christmas
in school, somewhere around five. Wasn’t that…?
Jane came in, and stood opposite me across
the desk, grinning.
"Seriously? You're wishing me a
Christian belief system celebration day? Or do you mean the winter solstice pagan
holiday which came before it?"
She sat, and grinned wider.
"You are?" I looked at her in
surprise. "Let me get this straight. You looked up pagan celebrations for
this time of the Earth year, selected one brought forward as a Christian
celebration, rebadged by the politically correct movement of the late twentieth
and early twenty first centuries, who instead decided to have said celebration
without offending anyone of other faiths, and which became a symbol of
capitalist greed through the promotion of consumer spending for the sake of profits?"
She nodded.
"And which you of course know the
Hunter family left behind on old Earth, when they left it nearly six hundred odd
years ago. Only you're calling it by the name of the Christian event, instead
of the 'Happy Holidays' of the politically corrects."
The grin stayed in place.
"You haven't gotten religion have
you?"
Jane laughed.
"No Jon, I haven't gotten
religion."
"No religion. So you like the idea of
a fat man dressed in red, with a big white beard, dropping down chimneys with a
sack of presents for everyone, while his flying reindeer leave messes on the
roof?"
"Something like that."
"Or is it the same man in red flying
around in a sleigh pulled by six white boomers?"
"Boomers? I must have missed that
reference."
"Old man kangaroos. Back then,
reindeer flying around outback Australia would have expired of heat exhaustion.
Even at night."
She laughed.
"So what is this then?"
"I can't wish you a Merry Christmas
without it being significant?"
"You know my family are spiritual
without religion, don’t you?"
"Yes Jon."
"We gave up all the celebrations once
we'd been in space a few years, once the days themselves became meaningless
because they had no relation to seasons on Earth. When the commercialism of
gift giving became pointless because there was no place to buy said gifts from,
and resources were too scarce to waste on fripperies. All the groups on
Galactica gave up the faith based celebrations imposed on them by centuries of
societal expectations. They celebrated families, achievements, and discoveries
instead."
"I know."
"Isn't Christmas the one about the
virgin birth of Jesus?" She nodded. "You know Jesus is an Ascended
Master." She nodded again. "I saw him in my ascension vision. He
isn’t, and never was, anything to do with celebrations which include eating too
much, and giving people gifts they don’t really need."
The grin was still there.
"So what's with the Merry
Christmas?"
"Does it bother you?"
"Bother me? Why should it bother
me?"
"You could have just said Merry
Christmas back to me. Instead, you've made a fuss about it."
"I am not making…"
I stopped. I was making a fuss. I wondered
why.
"What brought this on?"
"I thought we needed to spend a day
focused on us. A lot's happened recently, and we need a break from everything.
The crew could use a good meal, and some fun."
"I won't disagree. But why
Christmas?"
"Did you ignore all the flat screens
with a Christmas show in them?"
"Noooooo. But I can't say I really
paid attention to anything beyond the story going on around the event."
"Ah. Maybe you should have."
"Next time.
Learning to Kill: Stories