Taming the Beast by Emily Maguire Read Free Book Online

nickel, chromium and cadmium. On the last syllable she would press her lips together and hum:
cadmiummm
. Then she would inhale deeply and say
yum
. Disregard for personal welfare was very cool. Smokers were very cool. And you could tax them into bankruptcy and send them outside to cower around doorways and they were still way cooler than the pink lunged, fresh smelling, goody-two shoes scrunching up their faces inside. Not you though Jamie, she would say, I know you have asthma and stuff, you’d smoke if you could, right?
    But although smoke – of several varieties – choked the backyard, Sarah was not there enjoying it. Jamie checked his watch: 8:49. It was possible she was running late. Likely even. He couldn’t remember an occasion when she had been less than twenty-minutes late. Usually it was more like an hour.
    Jamie spotted Shelley and Jess standing with a tall blond bloke by the pool. He got to them just in time to hear the man finish what was evidently a riotous story. Shelley and Jess clutched each other, laughing and shaking their heads. Jamie stood behind Shelley and slid his arms around her waist. She continued shaking with laughter, turning slightly to kiss his cheek.
    Through increasingly irritating laughter, Jess introduced Jamie to Mike, and Shelley tried to recount the story Mike had just finished telling them. It was to do with a local TV personality and a vacuum cleaner and a casualty ward, but the cause of the nearing-hysterical laughter was unclear. Jamie knew that if Sarah was here she would roll her eyes at him, and he would feel brave enough to say he didn’t think it was funny. But she was not here, so he just smiled and waited for the laughing to stop.
    But as soon as the girls calmed down, Mike started in with another outrageous story, and soon they were gasping and holding their sides again. Despite hearing the whole story this time, Jamiestill did not find it particularly funny. He suspected that if he himself had told the same story, Shelley and Jess would have barely cracked a smile. The fun they were having was clearly due to the man rather than his message. Mike had the weathered skin and sun-bleached hair of a surfer and a voice which would be easily heard over the roar of the waves. He wasn’t a surfer though, not professionally anyway; he worked as a profile writer for a national men’s magazine, which meant he got paid to have lunch with porn stars and drink cocktails with supermodels. It was the ‘off-the-record’ part of these interviews that had provided him with the endlessly uproarious anecdotes.
    ‘Is Sarah with you?’ Jess asked when Mike stopped talking for a moment in order to light a cigarette.
    Shelley visibly tensed at the mention of Sarah. She stepped out of Jamie’s reach and looked sideways at him. ‘Nah, haven’t seen her,’ Jamie told Jess, careful to sound unconcerned.
    ‘Yes, where is the famous Sarah Clark?’ Mike asked Jamie, who shrugged and wondered why this man he had never met would ask Jamie – who was very much involved with Shelley – about Sarah’s whereabouts.
    ‘I suppose the
famous
Sarah Clark is off doing what she’s
famous
for,’ Shelley said.
    It was Jamie’s turn to tense up. ‘What does that mean?’
    Jess laughed and punched Mike’s arm. ‘Now you’ve done it. I told you Jamie was Sarah’s White Knight.’
    ‘I’ve missed something. What are you all talking about?’
    Mike slapped Jamie’s back. He bit down on the impulse to slap back. ‘Jess and Shelley were telling me tall tales about your friend Sarah. They warned me not to repeat any of it to you,
allegedly
because you’d get shitty, but I know it’s really because they’ve been pulling my leg and you’ll ruin the fun by setting me straight.’
    Jamie raised his eyebrows at Shelley. She looked at the ground.
    ‘Every word was true,’ said Jess.
    ‘We’ll see.’ Mike rubbed his chin. ‘True or False: Sarah lives in a filthy flat with no furniture or food