Tangled by Carolyn Mackler Read Free Book Online Page A

point, I heard a door open. A minute later, my mom peeked her head into the room.
    “Jena?” she asked. “Are you sleeping?”
    “Sort of,” I mumbled.
    “Are you almost ready for dinner? Luce and I are heading to the restaurant in a few minutes.”
    “What about Skye?”
    “She’s met some kids and she’s going with them to the phosphorescent bay.”
    My stomach clenched even tighter. “What kids?” I asked.
    “A boy named Dakota and his mom and brother. Nice people. They’re from Rochester. Want me to ask if you can join them?”
    “No thanks,” I said weakly. “I don’t feel so great.”
    “Oh, honey.” My mom came closer to the bed. As she touched my hair, I bit my lower lip to keep from crying. “Do you think you have heatstroke? Want me to get you some Gatorade?”
    “No…I just want to sleep.”
    My mom stayed with me for a few minutes and then left the room. A little while later, Skye walked in. She flipped on the bedside light and began gathering things into her bag. I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep.
    “Jena?” Skye asked, standing over me.
    I didn’t say anything.
    “Jena?”
    When I still didn’t respond, she switched off the light and headed out the door. Once she was gone, I banged my head against the pillow and began sobbingall over again. My throat was so tight I kept gagging and coughing and dry-heaving.
    It’s all a lie, I said to myself. Romance. The Bridges of Madison County . This notion that some guy is going to swoop in and fall madly in love with me and change my life and make everything perfect. It’s one big, horrible lie and I bought it. Hook, line, and ten-thousand-pound sinker.
    Or I guess I should say it’s a lie for a girl like me. For Skye, that’s another story. The first time Dakota kissed me, down at the hot tub, I remember thinking, This is too good to be true .
    But if something feels too good to be true, maybe it’s not true. Maybe the truth is that Skye deserves him. She’ll always be the winner. And I, pathetically, will always be me.

one
    My day started out like shit and went downhill from there. It was May 19, which would have been Natalie’s eighteenth birthday. Knowing Natalie, she would have forced me to take her out to dinner in Rochester. Someplace fancy I couldn’t afford, not on my paycheck from Wegmans, especially not since my dad makes me pay my own car insurance. But Natalie’s family has money and she was used to being treated like a princess. After dinner, we would have met up with her cheerleading friends. Someone would have produced a cake, someone else would have brought a chick drink like Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Then we would have gone back to my place and gotten it on. Natalie had promised me she was going to ask her doctor for the pill this spring. I used to complain that it was over a year and we werestill using condoms.
    All of this would have happened, of course, if we hadn’t been in one of our breakups. Natalie and I were always taking breaks and getting back together. I’d lost track of how many times she screamed at me that it was over, and then hung up the phone or jumped out of my car, slamming the door. We’d ignore each other for a few weeks. Sometimes I’d start hooking up with another girl. Then I’d run into Natalie at a party and she’d be all over me, saying she loved me. I’d apologize for whatever I’d done to piss her off. We’d patch things up and soon we’d be back on track again.
    Natalie used to say, “You’re an asshole, Dakota. But you’re my asshole.”
    I’d laugh, like it was a compliment. But do you really want your girlfriend to think you’re an asshole? Especially if it’s sort of your fault that she died.
     
    May 19 was a Friday. I set my alarm for six fifty to give me enough time to shower, shave, and put on my suit for the ceremony at school. But I didn’t end up needing the clock because I woke at six thirty with an ice pick crushing my temples. I was really hung over. I