Tease by Immodesty Blaize Read Free Book Online Page A

aghast. ‘Blue, you wrote the rulebook!’ ‘Thought so,’ he muttered. ‘I’ll end up on the shelf, I know it. I can feel it in my bones. My problem is I’m just weak when I get a dirty Martini down me. It clouds my bullshit detector. I should stick to champagne.’
    ‘Okay, sweetheart, I can see it’s your time of the month. Listen, why don’t you finish off on the mats yourself,’ sighed Emily with resignation.
    ‘That’s a good girl, I owe you one,’ said Blue, planting a big kiss on her cheek before mincing off to the crash mats, monogrammed towel slung artfully over his shoulder.
    Blue wasn’t actually sure why he had a personal trainer. It had been Tiger’s brainwave originally. Blue always said he wasn’t actually that fussed about training, claiming that as a stylist he had cultivated permanent pecs from always lugging around so many heavy shopping bags. Besides which, he preferred to create perfection in other people. Needless to say Tiger didn’t buy his excuses. Anyway, she fancied having an occasional gym buddy to keep the boredom at bay while she was sculpting her own curves. Tiger simply loved her food, and the Catholic girl in her meant she was a sucker for the ritual of indulgence followed by penance in the gym. She also had this romantic idea that Blue would find the love of his life between the exercise bikes and the weights bars. Truth was, the only gay men who Blue ever saw at the gym he’d either already shagged, or wouldn’t touch with Elton’s.
    ‘Hey, darling, how’s it hangin’!’ came a strained voice as Blue settled on a mat. Looking over he recognised his old make-up artist pal Dave Bourgeois who was sweating and trembling in a side plank. They had tried getting it on one boozy night years ago, never to be repeated since. It was a chemistry thing. That is, far too many chemicals.
    ‘Oh get away, Davey, you’re making me tired just watching you,’ grumbled Blue.
    ‘Wow, what a way to greet an old friend. Somebody get out the wrong side this morning?’
    ‘Very funny. No, I’m just still pissed, and I’m a miserable drunk,’ grunted Blue, making a feeble attempt at a press up.
    ‘Hmm, say no more. How was Tiger’s show?’
    ‘It was dreamlike, Dave, dreamlike. Shame you couldn’t come (grunt) so how were the Mobos?’
    ‘Oh just the usual shake ’n’ fake. I was with Chaka Khan this time, so I had a nice table,’ replied Dave, progressing to stomach crunches.
    ‘She’s every woman, darling.’
    ‘She’s had every woman for breakfast. She was in a fabulous red leather catsuit last night. Tight.’
    ‘Wow. That’s a lot of leather.’
    ‘You’re telling me. So, (oof ), any fit men last night?’
    ‘Sore subject. Although Libertina Belle was there which made up for the (grunt) lack of eye candy.’
    ‘Wow, did you get a close look at her? Haven’t done her make-up for ages, I’ve often wondered how she’s weathering.’
    ‘Oh she’s gorgeous, Dave, gorgeous. (Grunt) Although in my opinion she’s had a bit too much collagen this time. All I wanted to do was lick her lips and stick her to the window.’
    ‘Tut tut. Shame.’
    ‘Oh bugger this,’ grunted Blue. ‘No more for me. I’m going for a shower. You got the papers today, Davey? Apparently Tiger got major coverage.’
    ‘Oooh, yes, I’ve got a
Daily Standard
in my locker. She’s on the front page. C’mon, I’ll follow you out and get it for you, I’m cooked for today, too.’
    With a synchronised flounce the pair made a break for the changing rooms, both compulsively eyeing their physiques in the mirrors as they passed. Blue already felt like he was having a fat day, but was even more horrified at his sweaty, blushing complexion. What an oil painting, he thought, shuddering. Only flushed whales get fobbed off with Alcoholics Anonymous, he thought to himself sadly.
    Dave immediately dived for his locker, and, whipping his jogging pants off to reveal a fetching jock strap, threw the